Fat Lip Friday

Just for the record, from now on I’ll be referring to the last day of the work week as “Fat Lip Friday”.  The past 3 Fridays Luke has managed to fall on his face and give himself a fat lip so it seems like the appropriate new name.  This way, if he doesn’t actually give himself a fat lip on Friday, it will be a good excuse to give someone else a fat lip so I can write about it.  This morning Luke’s fat lip occurred at Hannah’s school.  He was crawling and I guess his hands slipped out from under him and he smushed his face on the floor.  The little teeth coming in must have sliced into his top lip based on the gush of blood that appeared instantly.  Poor Hannah was beside herself running around, shouting for ice, telling the other kids, “Don’t worry, this happens ALL the time”.  Great, now the other kids and teachers know what really goes on behind the closed doors of my house.  We gave him a popsicle from her class freezer (which then made the other 4 year olds in the class work to figure out how THEY could get fat lips and in turn receive a popsicle) and Luke calmed down a bit.  His lip – not so much.  At least his “b” sounds are sounding a little more like “m” sounds since he can’t get his lip tucked under enough for a “buh” sound.  Why is this good?  Because now instead of “ba, ba, ba” being his only sound/word, he’s actually saying “Ma Ma”!

Later Gator!

Yesterday I was not a good mommy.  I usually pride myself on my patience and attention that I give to both kids but yesterday… I let one of them escape.  Literally.  We were at the indoor playground at the mall and I spent some of the time watching Hannah and Luke play together like siblings should, and the rest of the time chasing after Luke as he made his way out of the play area and into the mall area.  Hannah kept saying, “Don’t tell him ‘it’s not funny’ mommy because Luke thinks it’s funny and you’re confusing him”.  (sigh).  Have I told you how fast Luke is?  He does this “scoot” thing instead of a crawl where we moves on his tush with one arm straight up in the air and the other pushing him along.  He gives lots of people a good laugh watching him do his thang.  There is honestly no reason for him to find it necessary to walk because he can move so quickly this way!  Anyway, back to my story…. in walks an old acquaintance of mine with her three kids and I got busy catching up with her.  I could still see Hannah playing around in my peripheral vision and I guess I just, well, forgot about Luke.  Until two (better) moms (that earlier were laughing at Luke’s fast scoot) came running over to me yelling that my son was down by Panda King.  Panda King is one of the food court restaurants about 50 yards from the play area.  I ran out and saw my little guy, one arm raised high up in the air, making his way for his first Lo Mein meal.  When I finally caught up to him he had a huge smile on his face… very proud that he was Mr. Independent, not aware that a few yards further he would have been on the elevator headed down toward Victoria’s Secret.  Or maybe he was aware (can’t start too early with the negliges) … Today I will be a better mommy.  I will be out shopping for a leash.  

Rock"it"

Hannah is newly obsessed with being a rock star.  I mean she always liked to sing,  but the term “Rock star” is pretty new.   And it’s only recently that she declared she wants to be a rock star for Halloween this year.  It might have something to do with my infatuation with American Idol- she knows it’s the one show on the TiVo list that is there for me.  The other 40 recorded shows are hers – all hers.  We watched one of the earlier episodes together and she talked about ‘Lil as her favorite for many weeks after that.  She would always ask on Thursday if ‘Lil was still on the show.  She actually spoke of ‘Lil as if she was a real friend of hers (and I say that as I have just finished telling Tim that I feel like Ryan Seacrest is my friend since we “tweet”).  Last week we watched some of the finale together.  Her favorite song to sing at the top of her lungs is Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie and when I saw Fergie was going to sing on American Idol I knew Hannah would be thrilled.  And that she was – 23 Big Girls Don’t Cry’s later and having memorized every booty shake and lyric… Hannah was satisfied to move onto the next act of the show.  Half way through the finale she announced she wants to be an American Idol so being the supportive mommy that I am I said, “Ok Hannah we can work on that” and she said, “I want to be THAT one” pointing at Alexis Grace.  I tried to explain that if she is on American Idol she’d be herself but she just kept saying if she’s on the show, that’s the one she wants to be.  It was one of those going nowhere conversations where I finally just said, “ok, you can be that one”.   Tonight as I was putting her to bed she said, “mommy, did you know that Rock Stars have an attitude?”  (I think I have Bebe (Tim’s mom) to thank for that one… ) and laughing I said, “yes, Hannah most Rock Stars do have an attitude”.  

“Mommy, what’s an attitude?”  

“It’s when you think you’re the “shnizzzy””.  (Not sure where I came up with that word but it sounded good at the moment).

“What’s the shnizzzy?”

“It’s when you think you’re the best thing ever.  It’s not good to have an attitude because people might not like you if you think you’re the best thing ever”.

“Well, when I’m a rockstar, I won’t have an attitude…. but I MIGHT be the shnizzzy – a NICE shnizzzy”.

Watch out American Idol 2021.

Boy oh Boy

Honestly, I don’t know if I can do this.  Raise a boy that is.  I mean, I had heard boys are different – don’t sit still, aggressive, obstinate, etc. but really, I am not sure I am equipped to handle what I have here.  Up until about a week ago I would have said Luke was an easy little boy (besides the hurling himself down the flight of 13 stairs at 10 months old), smiley, sweet, cuddly, good eater, great sleeper, etc.  But now I have a new creature on my hands that is kicking my ass.  And he’s not even walking yet.  This is one DETERMINED little guy.  I see the look in his eye when he wants something and he doesn’t need words to say, “mommy, I DARE you to stop me”.  As soon as I put him down there are two places he makes a bee-line for… the dog bowl and the stairs.  If he’s dog bowl bound I usually have to dive over him to grab the water/food before it’s flipped over, water everywhere and food in his fists.  I do think my screams of NO are working on that one though since as of today as soon as he’s within arms reach he starts rapidly shaking his had “no”.  Ok, so the boy CAN learn.  If he is stairway bound, then I get behind him as he quickly makes his way up the stairs, but if I dare place a helpful hand on him, he swats me away grunting something along the lines of, “I can do it mommy, I do not need or want your help” ( in baby language of course).  As soon as he’s at the top, he tears into his or Hannah’s bedroom where he then makes his way up the stairs to her bed or his chair.  I actually found him sitting in his rocking chair the other day with a very proud look on his face.  One minute later I’m sure he would have found himself face first on his rug trying to get off the chair.  This week he has also somehow climbed into the jogging stroller, climbed onto my bed using the doggy stairs, and stood up in his highchair.   Oh and the feeding that goes on in the highchair is a whole ‘nother story.  He needs to be holding at least three toys while being fed or he puts up a serious roadblock between the spoon and his mouth.  For some reason I don’t think I’m fostering very good eating habits here.  He will not allow baby food as part of his meals, yet “real” foods that he enjoys are few and far between.  One member of the family who is making a killing with this situation is the dog since she is on the receiving end of all thrown foods from the chair.  Anything that leaves Luke’s hand is caught mid-air by leaping Bella.  I’ve also decided that a shower cap may be a smart idea for Luke to wear while he eats since rubbing the entree du jour in his hair is now a common theme.  You can often find him with the “crispy hair” look… I like to just think of it as baby hair gel.  Somehow, we’ll get through this I’m sure, but for now the end of the day really can’t come quick enough, and I pat myself on the back each night that we all lived through the day in one piece.

morning chatter

I have been blessed with an insanely early rising daughter.  It’s better than it was when she was 2-3 when she used to get up at 4:00 FOR THE DAY but still it’s too early for me.  The rule is that she can’t come into our room until 6:00 and we can’t go downstairs until 7:00 but that rule sometimes gets bent a bit… for instance this morning she came in at 5:55 (or in Hannah’s terms, “five, five, five”) and after climbing into our bed and getting herself settled she said, “woooops, sorry mommy, I forgot to look at my clock before I came in this morning…. is it ok anyway?”.  At this point it was five five nine so not really worth sending her back to her room.  Not only does she get up so early but she is unbelievably CHATTY at this time as well.  I mean, I used to get up ridiculously early to go to the gym but there was a “no talking allowed” rule with Tim.  It was all business.  I’ve tried telling Hannah that it’s too early to talk but “I have questions mommy”.  “Just one more question, I promise…”.  Sometimes I wonder whether her questions are real or hypothetical which can make me a little nervous to answer them.  For instance, this morning she asked me, “mommy can you have a duck for a pet?”.  I wasn’t sure if she was asking whether it was possible for “one” to have a duck for a pet or if she wanted to get a duck for a pet and my answering “yes” would then lock me into heading out to the nearest pond to find a pet duck.  I told her I didn’t know if “you” could have a pet duck and she went on to tell me she thinks you can but we’d need to keep water in our bathtub all the time for it to swim around.  And she said, the quacking might keep us all awake and be “annoying”.  I guess she decided on her own that a pet duck might not be the best idea for our family.  

Between 6 and 7 is some serious TV time in the family bed before we go downstairs.  Her favorite show of the moment, “Wow Wow Wubbzy” is on at 6 (thank you Noggin for taking away freaky Oobi and putting Wubbzy in its place).  For those of you who don’t know Wubbzy, jury is still out on what he actually is… some square, long tailed creature who is always getting himself into trouble.  Hannah loves the music and dancing and most mornings, through squinty, half asleep eyes, I see her standing up in the bed shaking her booty and belting out the songs.  Well, I guess if she’s going to be up at that hour it’s good she can entertain herself right?  I’ll just have to deal with the bouncing bed and never-ending questions until her body decides 7 is a better time to wake.

Doggy Drama

Much of the daily drama in my life does not come from my kids.  I’d say ranked right up there is the furry one in the house – Bella the 13 pound Yorkshire Terrier.  We say she’s part Yorkie and part shark.  We also like to refer to her as a Yorkshire “Terror”ier.  We bought Bella almost 8 years ago as training wheels for kids.  We lived in NYC at the time and thought (as many moms-in-training do) that if I could keep a little dog alive, I could certainly keep a child alive.  How naive I was.  We bought a Yorkie because I wanted a dog I could tote around in my purse.  We were sold a bill of goods because before we knew it, she was far too large for even my largest tote bag and was constantly trying to leap right onto the sidewalk from my bag.  Apparently, we also didn’t read the “do you REALLY want a Yorkie” handbook thoroughly because somehow we missed the chapters that Yorkies bark constantly and truly hate children.  All this being said, I loved Bella – no, I take that back – I was OBSESSED with Bella for the first 3 1/2 years of her life.  I was one of those people who talked about her dog as if she was a child to people with children and now I see why they had that, “oh god make her stop” look on their faces as I went on and on about how wonderful she was.  Sadly, the day Hannah was born Bella fell down the ladder one rung and when Luke was born down two or three more rungs.  I’m not ready to have her live in the garage or ready to send her off to the “farm” upstate, but the time I have in my day to show her the love I used to, is significantly less.  I’m looking at her as I write (Luke is asleep and Hannah is at school) and she’s lying on her back on her cushion in the sunshine, all 4 legs up in the air, with a hairtie in her hair (she’s in BAD need of a haircut and until I can get her to the groomer I thought it would be kind of me to get her hair out of her face so she could see where she’s going) and I’m remembering why/how I love her so much still.  But I know at any moment someone could walk by and she will give her “I think I’m a German Shephard” bark and wake Luke up.  And when he does get up she’ll start whining and whining (like I don’t hear enough whining from my kids!) for attention and Luke will start chasing her around trying to pull her tail and I’ll worry that she’ll snap his finger off.  And when I eat my dinner she’ll beg until I actually show her my plate to prove there’s nothing left to eat.  Some days I want to jump out of my skin because she causes such a commotion, but other days… when I’m sad or sick or lonely, and somehow she knows I need a cuddle, I know she’ll be there with her head in my lap, licking my hands and legs and I’ll remember that although she was in no way training wheels for the drama in my life, she’s absolutely a big, important part of it.

Starting Early

On the way to school this morning Hannah said, “Mommy, I told Carmie that my new best friend is Maddie.  I told her that she is going to want to play with me more now that Maddie is my new best friend because she’ll miss me and wonder why I’m not playing with her as much anymore”.   A little background here: Hannah has been coming home from school in tears for the past month or so because her old best friend Carmie seems to want to play with Sadie more than Hannah and Carmie tells Hannah most days that she is no longer her best friend.  I told Hannah that she should start playing with other friends and in turn Carmie will most likely come around and want Hannah to play with her again.  (I call it 4 year old hard-to-get).  The problem is that I didn’t expect Hannah would repeat verbatim to Carmie what I told her to do (like if you told the guy after your first date that you weren’t going to return his calls because then he’d be more prone to like you more)… her honesty sadly, isn’t helping the situation.  I didn’t think the heartache would start so young.  I didn’t think she’d be a part of a clique at 4.  I didn’t expect her to cry to me at night saying, “mommy why doesn’t my best friend like me anymore?”.  I didn’t think that her preschool class would be like a sorority rush scene.   You should see these 4 year old girls… Hannah runs into the classroom and is met with, “Hannah look at my new shoes”, “Hannah do you like my dress?”, “Hannah I love your hairtie”, etc… it’s a fashion show each morning!  And then there was the morning I walked in and Carmie raised her shirt up and said, “Hannah’s mommy look at my BRA!”  “CARMIE”, I said, “Why are you wearing a bra??”.  “To cover up my boobies”, she said.  “But isn’t that what your shirt is for?” I asked.  “No, I need the bra”… I was then met with Hannah saying she needed a bra too… the whole thing was wrong on so many levels.  Luckily I guess the bra straps were a little uncomfortable and it’s been left home ever since.   I’m also happy Carmie and Hannah will be going their separate ways next year because if she’s wearing a bra at 4 I’m a little nervous what she’ll be bringing to the table at 14.

Let the games begin!

We went to our first carnival of the carnival season yesterday (and I think it’s going to be a LONG carnival season).  We had 75 minutes total for the carnival experience which included drive time to and from Bedford.   I prepped Hannah by explaining Luke needed to get home in time for his nap but promised her 3 rides and cotton candy.  Honestly, I think we could have gotten away with just the cotton candy and she would have been happy.  We ran into the carnival and the first thing Hannah had to do was… the bathroom.  There went 15 minutes especially because the bathroom was inside the school and she needed to look around (in the hallways, in the classrooms, at all the artwork, etc).  Now we really had to run from one ride to the next.  It’s not easy for a 4 year old to stay focused with all of the games, food, people, rides, music, etc.  But she did great.  First ride – little cars.  She got to ride her car alone which was fun but it was too slow, “boring” she said.  Next ride, dinosaur spinning ride.  Made me want to vomit watching her and Tim on this one but at least she didn’t look like she was going to fall asleep.  Third ride – elephant flying ride.  I did this one with her.  Up and down, round and round.  I’m still spinning.   Last ride – ferris wheel.  I. Was. Terrified.  I had to pretend I wasn’t nervous so she would stay calm but holy shit… we were HIGH!  Couldn’t have ended soon enough for me… I think I might have actually screamed at one point since the kids in front of us (below us) looked up at me like whose the lame mommy…  thank god, time was up.  We sprinted to the cotton candy station, picked up the goods and were out of there.  And we had one sticky faced, blue mouthed, HAPPY little girl.

 Quote of the day: “Mommy I really like Kid Rock because I’m a kid and I like to rock and roll!”.  

Swimming with the Fishies

You know that mom who you see watching their kid and you just have to roll your eyes over how worked up and animated they get over their kid?  Because really, you just don’t care so much about any other kid… only your own, right (or is that just me?)  So I was that mom today.  Hannah has been struggling with building up enough confidence to swim on her own.  We all have known she CAN do it but she just wouldn’t.  And we’re desperate for her to learn to swim.  The thought of chasing both kids around our pool all summer, frantic over them falling in just doesn’t sound appealing.  (I swear I’ll have them both wearing swim vests from the second they get up in the morning until the moment they go to bed.  It won’t matter if they are in the kitchen eating lunch, napping, riding their bikes in the driveway or blowing bubbles in the yard.  Because you just never know when a strong force wind will come and blow them into the pool.) Hannah’s excuse recently has been, “mommy I just don’t think I’ve eaten enough green vegetables so I’m not strong enough”.  She kept saying, “when I’m ready, I’ll do it”.  Can’t argue with that logic.  The past 2 weeks she’s cried and cried during class, grasping onto the edge of the pool.  I’d see her little mouth mouthing, “Mommy, I don’t want to, Mommy tell her I’m not ready”.  It was heartbreaking.  But today, some burst of confidence must have overtaken her because she did it!  She swam about 20 feet a number of times ON. HER. OWN!  And I was the crazy mommy jumping up and down, yelling “YEAH HANNAH!” and looking around for everyone else to applaud right along with me.  But for some reason they were watching their own children and didn’t seem to care much about mine.   

Nut Job

At a much later stage than Hannah, Luke is finally learning how to be social.  Up until very recently when he was in the company of other kids he would stare at them and gently touch them as if he wondered whether they were real.  Yes, he’s a bit of a mama’s boy, attached to my hip most hours of the day.  So I joined a gym class so that he could learn to interact with other kids, play with other kids, just see some different walls than the ones in my house really!  Most of the kids in the class are older – running around, talking a bit and participating in the organized class.  Luke really just uses the time as “open gym” where he crawls around, throws balls and touches the other kids.  I’m fine with that.  The drama came yesterday when I noticed Luke putting something in his mouth.  I ran over and saw a whole peanut sitting on the ground next to him and assumed he had put another whole peanut in his mouth.  I assumed correctly.  Luckily I was able to scoop it out of his mouth before he choked on it but my true fear was the allergy side of it.  The rational side of me knew that he had been tested and everything came back negative but the mom of Hannah side of me didn’t trust those tests at all.  Coincidentally he also started coughing immediately and got the hiccups.   Visions of all the stories I’d read about anaphylaxis came rushing into my head. Thankfully all was fine and Luke seemed amused by my worries but it was a tense 30 minutes or so.  But really, who in their right mind brings whole peanuts to a baby gym class and leaves them scattered about?  What is wrong with people?   I never found the culprit here but each mom got a pretty bitchy look from me just in case they were to blame so they would know I was NOT happy!

Daily Drama Dose: I’m a little confused how Luke refuses to put most new foods in his mouth (as yummy as I explain they are) yet eating that wood chip at the playground seemed like a delicious idea.  My mouth sweep wasn’t as effective as with the peanut and I hope to find the chip in his diaper tomorrow…