Monthly Archives: August 2009

I WILL make this a vacation

I know that my little human alarm clock conveniently named Hannah will still buzz in my ear at 6:00am. I know I will still have no idea what my almost 1.5 year old jibberish speaking son is trying to say. I know I will still have to deal with Luke sitting his tush square in the middle of Hannah’s puzzle as she’s trying to complete it. I know I will still be cooking grilled cheese, mac and cheese and chicken fingers fir 4 out of five meals. BUT, I will make this a vacation!

We’re away for ten days in a rented house on the water in Mystic, Ct. I look out the huge windows of the family room and all I see is water and boats. (Well, actually today all I see is torrential rain from Hurricane Danny but I’m trying to ignore that fact.) It’s a beautiful, tranqil, serene spot. One that I’ve looked forward to returning to since leaving this same spot last year. So, I will make it a vacation. For all you nay- sayers, I refuse to let it be a situation where I just bring my hectic, exhausting life from one part of Ct to another. So here is how I plan on making it different:

– I will paint my toe nails a completely different, so-not-me color. Haven’t decided what yet but it will be something that when I look at my feet I’ll have to do a double take to be sure they are actually connected to MY ankles.

– I will paint Hannah’s finger nails. I am one of those moms who does not let her 4 yo daughter normally have painted finger nails. It makes little girls look so grown up and it just doesn’t appeal to me. She’s one of the few in her preschool without multi-colored nails and I’m ok with that but she really wants them done. So here, on vacation, it will be ok.

– I will take naps. Even if it means in the middle of the room, with both kids on top of me. I will make it happen. Returning home, still exhausted, cannot happen.

– I will let Hannah stay up past her bedtime. So we can look at the stars and make s’mores by the fire. I wish I could say that would mean she’d sleep later. Most likely she’ll get up earlier. But that’s ok. It’s vacation.

– I will drink beer (or “beard” as Hannah calls it). Something about living in a house on the water in a fishing town makes me feel I should drink beer. I’ll drink wine too but beer will be in the mix.

– I will go to the bathroom and shower without anyone else in the room. Even on weekends at home this never seems to happen. But I’m on vacation so it will.

– I will sleep diagnally. The dog is not with us. I will make full use of bed space. And if I push Tim off the bed, onto the floor… So be it. I’m on vacation.

– I will not write my blog every day. I will read and maybe even talk to Tim. So if you’re wondering where I am… I’m either splashing in some puddles from this crazy hurricane, kayaking if the rain ever stops, putting a unicorn puzzle together, teaching Hannah the world of Mad Libs, in the bathroom alone or drinking a Red stripe.

They say absense makes the heart grow fonder so when I return I’m thinking I’ll have like 300 readers or so?

Sent from my iPhone

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I scream, You scream…

It’s like the age old question, but different. If you scream in your house but no one seems to hear you, did you scream?

I screamed at Hannah yesterday. I never knew I was a screamer. I never wanted to be a screamer. And now, I will not BE a screamer. “Why” you may ask did I scream? Read on…

“Hannah, stop pushing Luke while he’s running, he could fall and hurt himself.”

“Hannah, please stop doing that to Luke.”

“Hannah, I said, PLEASE stop dragging Luke.”

“Hannah, he does not LIKE when you do that to him.”

“Hannah, PLEASE!”

HANNAH, LISTEN TO ME!!! YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME! STOP. DOING. THAT. TO. LUKE!”

Hannah: “Mommy, well, you don’t need to yell.”

Me: “Apparently, I DO need to yell because you do not LISTEN!”

Hannah: “Well, I can still HEAR you without you yelling. There really is no need to yell at me.”

Me: “YOU NEED to listen when I tell you you are going to hurt your brother.”

Hannah: “I’m just saying you don’t need to yell. Geez.”

So, I guess I have not instilled that fear in Hannah that when I raise my voice I mean business. My dad used to have a “look”. If I saw that look, I ran for the trees (or is it hills? I didn’t really have hills where I grew up, but I did have big forests). He was SCARY when he got mad (in the oh-dear-lord-please-don’t-yell-at-me sort of way not the uh-oh-I-may-get-hit sort of way) and I didn’t (or tried not to) mess with it. I think Hannah was “this” close to laughing at me when I yelled. Her eyes got a little larger but she was NOT scared at. all. This did not do much for my “I’m mommy and I’m in charge” ego. Luke, on the other hand, was NOT quite sure what to make of his mommy becoming a bit of a monster right before his (Extremely Large) eyes.

I hated yelling at her. Especially since it did nothing. I guess I could have grabbed her by the arm and MADE her listen to me but that’s not my style either. But, I’m like a broken record. I’m so worn out by the end of the day from sheer boredome from the repetition. I probably use 20 words throughout each day repeated over and over and over. And I think I hear 10 words over and over and over. Here is my list of words:

From my mouth:

– Eat/Finish (your breakfast, your lunch, your dinner, more, faster)

– Did you (brush your teeth, wash your hands, wipe good, hear me)

– Say (thank you, please, excuse me, what I think you said?)

– Use (your words, your napkin, soap, nice words, a fork)

– Sit down (in the cart, in your carseat, now)

From Hannah’s mouth:

– I want (a drink, a snack, another story, Ellie, to sit on your lap, for you to carry me, to watch TV, to stay up all night)

– I don’t want (you to brush my hair, Luke to ruin my work, my hair up, any veggies, to wear shoes, to go to bed, to throw up)

– Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?

– Why?

– Am I going to throw up from that?

– Are there germs on that?

– I have a wedgie

– I need (an icepack, you to help me wipe, a Bandaid)

– Lukey (stop, move, don’t eat that, don’t touch that)

– For real? For really real?

And these lists, that make me feel like I’m living in Ground Hog’s Day, make me want to scream. And so I did. But it didn’t work. And I’m not sure what will work but at least my neighbors won’t have to get involved.

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Thank you for holding

Your call will be answered in the order it was received. Cue truly, amazingly annoying muzak. I know it’s terribly frustrating that I have not updated my blog in a few days, but I’m afraid you’re going to JUST have to wait 2 more days. Here is the rundown of the situation at hand:

– I went away to the Hamptons on Saturday and somehow brought my computer charger instead of my phone charger. THANK GOD for my cousin-in-law (in case she reads this and finds it weird that I refer to her as my cousin) who brought 2 iPhone chargers. A weekend without tweeting? Without facebook? Without texting? Just talking to other people around me? That would have been misery.

– I came home from the Hamptons on Monday WITHOUT the computer charger. This leaves me here at home unable to use my laptop and quite embarassed that now THAT side of the family also sees what a disorganized mess I am At All Times. ( I also left Hannah’s sneakers, her hat and her fave movie of the moment Pinocchio). I left all of this AFTER my uncle-in-law asked me if I was SURE I had everything and I rather abruptly responded that I was sure I had it all…

– I refuse to write a blog entry on my iPhone. Way too small a screen. I’ve already actually written WAY more than I intended… so… until Thursday, go read a book or something.

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Gee Thanks!!


So yesterday something really cool happened. I have been trying to figure out what to compare it to when considering the other accomplishments in my life and I’ve decided it’s somewhere between winning “Best Dressed” in my high school superlatives (although a little less superficial), and being nominated captain of my field hockey team in high school (with a little less responsibility). It’s just one of those things that I can’t help smiling when I think about. It must be how Dooce from her blog Dooce felt when told she was voted as one of the 100 most powerful women in the world (was it the world? I think it was the world or at least this country – either way impressive). Ok, maybe she felt a LITTLE more excited than I’m feeling but not much. The suspense is killing you huh? So, I was given this award… this “Your Blog is Fabulous” award from my friend at The Adventures of the Headless Family. I wished I could have reached out and given her a big squeeze for passing this along to me but being so new at this blog thing I:

a) wasn’t even sure she was giving it to me or just “tagging” me to let me know SHE got one (which would have been cool in itself since I do love her blog and she gives me such insightful REAL comments on mine) or
b) wasn’t sure a big bear hug would have been overreacting and made her uncomfortable. So, I’ll settle for a huge THANK YOU from the east coast to the west coast. And I will proudly display this award for all 20 or so eyeballs to see when they stumble across my blog.
In accepting this award I am also asked to list my 5 obsessions of the moment (LOVE that it fits into my whole list thing) and “tag” five other bloggers…
My obsessions

1. Denim. I know it’s so superficial but really, truly, I am obsessed with it. I should clarify that my denim obsession stops at denim pants (or less formally “jeans”). I have no interest in denim shirts, jackets, vests, hats, shorts or upholstery. As a stay at home mom I can’t really get so excited or vested in shoes or “real” clothes so my choice is denim or sweats… I have far too many pairs of jeans and to me they are ALL very different and for very different occasions. If only my legs were longer so I didn’t have to add $20 to every pair of jeans I buy, THAT would help.
2. This blog. I care deeply for it. I cherish it. I think about it far too often, talk about it to far too many people and would pet it lovingly if it were something I could hold.
3. Tennis. I don’t know if it’s the actual activity or the fact that it’s my only real escape during the week, but either way, I love smacking those balls around (and saying that I’m heading out to smack some balls feels good too). And now that the little skirts come with attached shorts it makes the fashion so much more palatable!
4. Marketing. Yes, I am one of those people who likes watching TV commercials. I read every billboard and have a comment about most new product introductions. After years of working on many brands in the beauty industry here are some tips: Maybelline, L’Oreal and Lancome are all the SAME company so therefore they have all the SAME products in different packaging. Save yourself some bucks and buy Maybelline. Suave REALLY is as good as the more expensive brands… again, same STUFF. Anti-Cellulite creams DON’T work… eat less instead.
5. My kids. If you read my blog, you know that already.
And now for the tagging:
– Liz from But then I had kids because I think we may have been separated at birth… or at least our kids were.
– NDM (or the little plastic toy with the baby bottle) from Not Drowning Mothering. I don’t know if I love her or hate her… I laugh hysterically reading her blog and when I’m done I think, “Damn, I want to be that funny!”
– Tere from A Mom, a Blog and the Life In-Between because her blog is so real and so descriptive, you feel like she’s talking to you.
Mad Mom on a Mission I just started reading her blog but loved her last post as a letter to her husband that i thought was hysterical and right on for many of us… check it out!
Swish and Swanky: Not like she needs this award but her blog is so a breath of fresh air for me. I love EVERYTHING she posts on her interior design blog. I read and leave murmering, “I want, I want, I want”…
Ok, the Acceptance Speech Award Music has been cued and I’m being dragged off the stage… Thank you!

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Speechless


I’m realizing I have gotten off track with my lists… here I’ve been ranting and raving on this and that, and I’m sure many of you are wondering, “where’s the list? What happened to the list”. It’s like if David Letterman all of a sudden started giving a sermon about what was on his mind and just forgoed (is there a past tense of forego? Maybe forgot? Forgew?) his top ten list. I bet there’d be some mighty disappointed fans out there, no? And yes, I do think as many people are fans of my blog as of David Letterman’s top ten list so quit the eye-rolls ok?

So here it comes, ready?
Things that have recently rendered me speechless
– The (rather large – not that I’m judging) woman at the beach who went to pull off her (slightly too tight- again not judging) jeans shorts only to also completely pull off her bikini bottom. Sadly (for all parties involved) she didn’t realize quite fast enough that this had happened and stood there bare bottomed Far Too Long. Still trying to get the image out of my head.
– Hannah asking me (days after I had told her (at her request) what cars I test drove before buying mine and what it was about each of dismissed that made me not buy them), “Mommy, can you please tell me again what it was about the OWdee that made you feel it wouldn’t be reliable?” This was in front of my brother and his kids who looked at me like I had lost my head talking about brands of cars with a 4 year old. She asked! Was I to ignore her?
– Hannah explaining to her friend today that she has a FurGiney and he has a PeeeNIS. Yes she knows brand names for cars but not the proper anatomical names for her and other’s body parts. Priorities people.
– When my mom was carrying Hannah over the hot hot sand at the beach and was saying “ow, ow, ow” with each footstep Hannah said to her, “Now nanny, just put it out of your mind and you’ll be just fine! Think Happy Thoughts”. I think my daughter is 40.
– When I was interviewing a new babysitter yesterday my usually well behaved (at least in front of strangers) daughter became Miss “I’m the Shit” and copped a serious attitude on me. When I asked her what was bothering her (in my calm be-nice-I-don’t-want-to-scare-off-the-prospective-help voice), she said with hands on her hips, “Mommy, I’ve told you a HUNDRED times, I’m SICK of Luke always taking my STUFF!”. I was lucky the daggers that came shooting from my eyes didn’t strike the sitter as she sat witness to these shenanigans.
– As I left Luke in his crib tonight, he sat up and said, “Ba BA Boo Ba Ba”. For Real! I’m not making it up! Isn’t that amazing from a 15 month old? What do you mean you don’t know what all the fuss is about? Isn’t it clear that he was trying to say, “I love you Ma Ma?”.
– After telling Hannah in specific detail all about my sleep away camp, and at the end asking her if when she’s 9 she’d like to go, she started hysterically crying. I felt awful that she was thinking I was trying to get rid of her and was sure she’d say, “why do I have to go away from you for the summer”. But instead, when she finally caught her breath she said, “WHY do I have to wait until I’m NINE???”.
– When my phone chirped yesterday Hannah picked it up, handed it to me and said, “You got a tweet”.
– I was cleaning up my house a bit yesterday before Prospective Babysitter arrived and Hannah said, “that’s good mommy, we want her to think you’re a neat person when she comes”.
– I was peaking through the crack of the bathroom stall at Hannah and her friend who were taking turns pooping. He was obviously having a harder time and when he finally went she shouted, “Good Job Max! High Five!” My daughter, always the cheerleader.
And so it goes…

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Friend Rant


I was looking through my highschool yearbook from my Sophomore year today. 1988. Not sure why it’s at my house and not my parent’s house but somehow it made the trip over. Boy was I cute! Er, not so much. (That’s me on the left). I’m trying to recall what celebrity made the short-on- one-side, long-on-the-other hair style in vogue back in the 80’s. Or maybe that was just my doing all on my own. That chic style, along with the braces, way oversized sweatshirt, tight jeans tapered at the bottom and converse high tops made for a totally stylin’ 16 year old. But what I was really most interested in, more than the pictures, were what my friends wrote in the yearbook. Not sure about you, but back then it was a HUGE deal to save space for special people to write long, drawn out notes in the yearbook. Longer note=better friend. Good friends were reserved prime real estate in the book too (I saw today that I actually wrote “saved” on the corner of these important pages to ensure the right person would write there…).

In reading between the lines of “oh don’t worry about Adam, he’ll come around next year” and “remember the beginning of the year with Jimmy? (sadly now I don’t), that was SO AWESOME!” and “thanks for keeping me occupied in English class with all of your notes you passed to me, I never would have made it through without that”, I saw that I must have been a pretty good friend. “If I had to turn to one friend, you were the one I would have turned to and I hope we’ll forever be friends” was one comment written by a friend that I no longer speak to and was a theme throughout – and that makes me happy even 20 years later. No, I wasn’t in the “most popular” crowd (something to do with not drinking enough or getting to “third” at the movie theater) but I was very proud to be a part of the group of friends I had. It’s the type of group, I can only pray Hannah will be lucky enough to find.
When I put the yearbook down I sat for a moment and thought about Friends. I have to say, I obsess (that might be a bit strong of a word but the right word isn’t coming to mind) a little about friends. Some women obsess about their weight, their looks, their jobs, and measure their self worth by these things. At one point or another in my life I have definitely obsessed about these things (thus Tim throwing away my scale) but I’m happy to say I’ve found satisfaction in my weight and my looks. I will never be STUNNING. And I’m happy with cute. I will never Turn Heads and I’m ok with that. I guess I obsess a bit about my job since my job right now is being a mom, but even there, I’ve found my groove and I can (sometimes) just go with the flow. But friends… I can’t get enough of them. I have come to the conclusion with my IRL friends that I just will NEVER get to see or talk to them enough. I can’t beat myself up over the fact that my closest friends don’t live Right Here. They can’t be Here when I want them to be. We are all consumed with our lives as mommies (for the most part) and in between cutting grilled cheese sandwiches, giving baths, mediating sibling wrestling matches, playing princess dress-up, building volcanos, cleaning up vomit, reading good-night stories and maybe even spending time with our husbands, we just don’t find enough time for each other. And it sucks. And it makes me wonder why I try to make new friends here where I live. If I meet someone “like me” I then can’t find the time to “date” them and get to know them between naps and activities. And I work hard at my friendships, am a really good friend, and only expect the same in return so sadly, I’m often disappointed since I find I do more giving and less getting.
My world came crashing down on me recently when I was told not so long ago that I’m a “canceler”. “Um what? Me? You mean I’m FLAKEY?”. It couldn’t be, I hate those people! But sadly, yes, there have been more times than I care to recall that I’ve called and cancelled plans, often last minute because of something minor (or major) that occurred on the home-front that made the planned outing just seem unbearable. That’s not the kind of friend I want to be. I still want to be “there” for all of my friends. And it kills me to think that the way my life is today makes that so difficult.
I think this is why I turned to social networking. A whole world of new friends are out there and I don’t have to make “plans” to “see” any of them. I’ll never need to cancel plans if Luke decides to fall down the stairs or Hannah throws a major tantrum. I hoped these new friends would be there when I needed them. I hoped my Tweets would be met with agreement, empathy, sympathy or laughter. I hoped I’d be thanked for my responses to other Tweets. I read dozens of blogs and gain insight, learn parenting “tricks”, see I’m Not. Alone, and I laugh and laugh and even cry sometimes too. And these friendships also take WORK. And I’m getting frustrated because I’m working at it and feel a little weird about working at it since I’m not sure if it’s one-sided or not and for god-sakes, these friendships are on the computer! I see wonderful friendships built out there though through Tweeting and other blogs so I know it’s possible and I do think it would take some of the “lonelies” away on days that I can’t make that time to have a real conversation with my BFF. But I’m not sure it’s working for me…
I did not start this blog to make friends. I started it as a way to remember the hysterical things that occur in my house every minute of every day. But the more I started reading other blogs, the more I wanted them to read mine. I get all giddy when I get a comment on my blog. The most I’ve ever gotten on one post is THREE and I loved that day! And when I joined Twitter I thought it would be a good way to connect with like-minded people. And a way to get people to read my blog and enjoy what goes on in my life. But there are days (like today) that I feel like I’m just “following” (which is what we’re called in the Twitterverse – a “follower”) people around, hoping they’ll be friends with me if I SHOUT things out to them every once in a while. And yes, some of them follow me back but don’t shout much. Can you imagine if this was something we did in person? I don’t think I’d score big points for finding a mom on the playground that looked appealing, followed her around for a few days, listened to her conversations with other friends and randomly shouted things over their shoulder like, “I’m going to teach Hannah to enjoy sunbathing so that we can just lie by the pool together and I can relax.” or “Luke loves nothing more than playing with his balls.” or “I went to Target yesterday and forgot everything I went there for but still managed to spend $200”. Yeah, that might not score me any friends.
And now, I have this problem that someone through Twitter has started leaving weird comments on this blog. I mean I love comments and all, but these are a little too weird for my liking since some of my family members are mentioned by name and have nothing to do with my blog, and now I am tempted to shut the whole thing down and maybe start up an anonymous blog. Thinking about it. Haven’t decided. Cause that doesn’t sound like me… I’m an open, look and laugh at my funny life type person. Not a make up names and places, incognito, undercover type person. Finger taps… what to do?
So what do you think? Am I obsessing?

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Figure Eights

I’m having a hard time snapping back to reality after my little get-away with Hannah this past weekend. I was really only gone for 24 hours but it was a packed 24 hours and although I missed Tim and Luke, having that time with her was truly memorable. Plus, just before we left I had some weird stuff go on with this blog (sorry to be vague on this) so I’m just not sure how much to share here and in that case, blog topics are failing me. In any case…

I’m glad to have come back to a post topic handed to me from my new blog friend Liz from but-then-i-had-kids.blogspot.com. It’s just a new take on the “let me help you to get to know me better” lists that we get on a daily basis (and I happen to always be the one noted as the one to first reply since everyone knows how much I love lists! Even if they aren’t mine!). This is the first chain-get-to-know-me blog list I’ve completed though…and it’s lists of 8 things, I suppose in honor of my eight years of marriage?

Note: sadly I don’t have eight people I specifically want to tag (as I was instructed to do), so if you read this and feel you’d like to jump in… feel free! Let me know you’ve done it so I can go back and read all your deep, dark secrets!



8 Things I am Looking Forward To:

  1. Next weekend in the Hamptons… a few extra hands, a few extra glasses of wine, a few west coast family members in tow, hopefully a few laughs… but definitely a few less hours of sleep since Luke will be in an unfamiliar pack-and-play.
  2. 10 days in Mystic starting 8/28… our yearly (as of last year) family trip. Hopefully it will be as wonderful as it was last year (especially if Luke familiarizes himself with that pack-and-play this coming weekend!)
  3. Hannah starting tennis lessons… if she can get past the fact that her teacher is a “boy” we should be ok.
  4. Skiing this winter. Got my new skis last week so bring on the snow!
  5. Luke starting KinderMusic. For once he’ll get to be in his Own class, not one of Hannah’s.
  6. My spa get-away in October. Still tbd who will be joining me, but honestly, I’d go alone and be thrilled. Anyone want to come?
  7. My bangs to be grown out so I can put everything back in a ponytail and Off. My. Face.
  8. Luke saying Ma Ma. It’s one of those things that is on every I wish, I can’t wait, and When will it happen list.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

  1. Saw Hannah hit her first tennis ball
  2. Jumped in the waves of the ocean holding Hannah’s clenched hand.
  3. Tried to help Hannah jump on a pogo stick for the first time (that was interesting)
  4. Drove 4 hours home from the Jersey Shore (while singing to Radio Disney, playing I Spy, and making up Knock Knock jokes).
  5. Played Pick Up Sticks with my nieces
  6. Got the best “welcome home smile” from Luke
  7. Watched Tim go skinny dipping
  8. Dealt with a 45 minute tantrum from Hannah from far too little sleep while away having far too much fun.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

  1. play tennis every day
  2. Get Luke to like the daycare at the gym
  3. Draw anything… even a good stick figure
  4. Have the most stunning garden in the neighborhood
  5. Not worry so much about my health
  6. Get Hannah to sleep past 6:30
  7. Go to sleep when I’m tired
  8. Never feel guilty

8 Places I’d Like to Visit:

  1. Hawaii
  2. African Safari
  3. Italy
  4. Fiji
  5. San Fran (for more than 4 hours)
  6. Wine country
  7. New Mexico
  8. Costa Rica

Places I Have Visited:

  1. england
  2. Scotland
  3. Vegas
  4. All over the Caribbean
  5. Cabo
  6. Florida Keys
  7. Madeira (Portugal)
  8. LA
That’s it? I guess it’s enough… it’s late and I’m tired so... I should go to sleep. Tomorrow I shall spill the beans about my blog drama. And then will see what will follow.

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