The Best Medicine

There is something about laughing.  Like full on, uncontrollable, sincere laughter.  I’m the silent hysterical laughter type.  My mouth is wide open but I emit no sound.  Tears run from my eyes and I have trouble catching my breath.  And if something really tickles me, I Can’t Stop.  The only thing better than this type of laughter is having someone join you in your convulsive giggles.  Because really, there’s something strange about finding so much humor in something, and everyone else getting a bigger kick out of watching YOU laugh but not finding what you’re laughing at the least bit funny.  This actually happens to me quite often.  Something sets me off, and I can’t contain my laughter and the more I try to restrict it, the harder I laugh.  Everyone else in the room may be just staring at me, but the tears keep rolling. But when you’re with someone and you BOTH are at your pinnacle of laughter, slapping each other with each gasp, leaning on each other’s shoulders as you both shake from the funnies… THAT is pure HAPPY.  I wish I could remember the last time this happened to me.  I hope it wasn’t last week watching the Old Spice ad with the man on the horse (and Tim)… it may have been though, which just clearly indicates that I need to get out more.

I do wish I laughed more.  Sure, I smile a lot.  My kids make me giggle.  I write “LOL” throughout the day on tweets and emails.  I have a husband who works really hard to make me laugh (and usually does even if I’m rolling my eyes at the same time).  But I wish there were more occasions to really LAUGH.  And as I wonder why there aren’t, I realize that you have to be in a certain frame of mind to let yourself laugh.  What cracks me up one day, certainly may not the next.  I know this is something that frustrates Hannah.  There are nights where she’ll come tiptoeing over to me with her little fingers in tickle mode and I’ll start giggling before she even touches my feet/neck/belly.  And we end up on the floor in a fit of tickle attacks. But there are others… nights where I’m exhausted from too many tantrums, have a headache, I still haven’t cooked dinner, Luke is standing in his highchair, etc, and those fingers waggling in front of me, just make me angry.  “Stop Tickling Me Hannah!” I’ll shout.  And she’ll look at me with those big confused eyes and say, “but you laughed yesterday mommy”.  Explaining the concept of “timing” to a 5 year old is not always so easy.  We’re just not always “set up” or ready to laugh.  Most days and nights, my frame of mind is not on laughing. It’s on getting through the routine.  And keeping everyone safe. And then resting.  And relaxing.  And talking.  But not laughing.  Laughing is sometimes work.

And that’s sad.  It shouldn’t be like that.

I also find that there are certain people who really don’t like to laugh.  Or at least they ACT like they don’t like to laugh.  Their mouths barely open when the chuckle escapes from their lips and they turn away before they are really caught in the act.  I’m not sure what their deal is.  Either they don’t like to not be the funny one, they won’t admit when someone else is funny, or they don’t like the out of control feeling that true laughter ensues.  They don’t like to not have control of their emotions.  You might think this sounds ridiculous but I actually had a conversation with someone rather close to me about this.  Although it was in regards to massages. He told me that he’s never had a massage.  Has no interest.  I asked him if it was because he is uncomfortable with someone touching him or afraid of being tickled and he said, “No. I just don’t want someone else having control over making me feel good.  I like to make MYSELF feel good (mind out of the gutter ladies.. not like THAT).  It would be weird to have someone so in charge of my feelings. (or something along those lines).”  That struck me as so strange!  If I could pay someone every day to have the sole responsibility of making me feel good throughout the day, I’d do it.  I don’t WANT to be responsible for making myself feel good all day long.  I guess there are differing opinions there.  And maybe this type of person doesn’t love to have someone else make them laugh either.  Maybe they’d rather crack themselves up.

There are also the people who say, “Oh, that’s funny!” but never really laugh.  In my opinion if you’re just saying, “That’s funny” but you’re not actually SHOWING with some emotion that you see the humor, you don’t think it’s funny.  Also, saying, “Ha Ha Ha” or “HMPH! (sounds like a quick little chortle from the nose)” is not laughing.  If that’s what you do when you’re feeling giggly, you need to go to Laugh School.  Or maybe you just need to relax a little and Let It Out.  I’m waiting for the day when I’ll be talking to someone and they’ll just say out loud, “L O L”.

I wish I could be five again when I’m at a party and telling a story that I know is funny and I’m expecting a good reaction.  It often happens (much to Tim’s dismay) that I start laughing before I even finish the story I’m telling therefore making it impossible for anyone to even hear the end or overhyping how funny the story actually is.  And then I’m SO disappointed when no one is laughing. Or I am noticing that they are giving me some fake laugh. Which doesn’t fly with me.  If it were Hannah in this situation she’d say, “HEY!  Why aren’t you laughing?  Don’t you think I’m funny?” That’s what I’d like to say.  Instead I usually just continue laughing into my wine glass and saying something like, “Oh I guess you had to be there…” Thankfully Tim usually comes to my aid with his arm around me saying,”She needs to stop drinking so much…”

I think if you were to survey most parents about the sound they love most, a large percent of them would say, “the sound of my kid/baby’s laugh”.  The gasping giggles. The red faced belly laughs.  It makes us as parents feel So Good.  Like we’re doing Something Right.  Babies don’t know HOW to contain that laughter.  They haven’t even learned that it’s an option.  I wish it was never an option to NOT laugh if something is funny.  To stifle a laugh should be as impossible as stopping a sneeze.  Just not an option. I’d be able to end tantrums so much easier that way.  Witching hour would be a lot less witchy.  Dinner parties with stiff guests would be a lot more enjoyable.  Maybe it would even help with the clique issue in the teenage years?  The popular girl would HAVE to laugh at the Shy Bookworm if she said something funny, making Shy Bookworm feel so much better about herself and maybe even becoming friends with the popular girl because they have the same sense of humor!  Everyone would be friends with everyone!  Oh the possibilities!

Come on, a girl can dream can’t she?  Remember I was the one who wanted to do away with Numbers, right?

And now I’m off, to find some laughter in this rainy, tantrum filled, sleepy day.

What makes you laugh?  Do you have an infectious laugh?  Does it bother you when people “fake laugh?”