I’ve been missing this place. Missing this quiet spot where I let my thoughts just Be. Missing you. Your responses and your friendship.
Somehow I’ve lost my groove. As my kids are settling into their new routines and I’m left with a bit more time to myself, I seem to be choosing other ways to fill the voids.
I’m not filling the spaces in my days with Better things though. Just different. One of my new years resolutions in 2010 was to start consulting. And with 3 months left in the year, I can check it off my list. I’m finally putting my years of marketing experience to good use by helping some small businesses find their footing and creating some buzz around their name to help them survive. It’s challenging. It’s exciting. It’s rewarding. But it’s taking me away. From here.
Because also, my resolution for the Jewish New Year (which gives me an extra chance to make some changes at the end of the calendar year), is to put my iPhone (ie: my lifeline to the outside world) AWAY when my kids are around. I don’t want them watching me look at my phone for hours on end. I don’t want them to feel I’m bored with their company or have better things to be doing when they’re around. They deserve my attention. They NEED my attention. So I’ve promised to give it to them.
This work I’ve started doing is making me remember that I’m not good at doing things half assed. When I agree to help a client, it means their world overtakes my thoughts. I’m constantly thinking, creating, and obsessing. For them. I’m crazed now with watching their twitter numbers go up and frustrated when their FB friends seem to plateau.
So where I used to be fanatical about blogging every day, I’m now filling that void with work. And yes, it’s satisfying. Because it’s MY work. But I’m also a little sad. Because writing a blog post for them, is not the same as writing it for me. And tweeting about a new legging/sweater set that came into the store, doesn’t satisfy me as much as telling you that I found Luke standing in the toilet.
So again, I find myself pulled. Now not between my kids and my laptop but between two different passions. Two passions that reward me differently. But still reward me. Can I do both? Yes, yes, I am going to figure out how. Because without you, my new and old friends out there that I wish I could spend time with in person every day, I’m sad.
So here’s to doing it all. Even if my friendship might be a little half assed. I’m still here. Reading your words. Smiling for your joys. Sending hugs on the hard days. And I hope you’ll still come by. Even if my posts are a bit shorter. And there are more days between them.