That was Me

I’m so glad I was me.

This is what I want to tell anyone who is thinking of starting a blog and wants to know what the #1 most important thing is about venturing into this unknown world that so few people know about, and even fewer understand.

Be You.

Because there I was on Thursday evening at the start of BlogHer, walking into a room full of wandering bodies and buzzing voices, full of anticipation and the unknown.  I was a bundle of nerves not knowing what to expect from my first BlogHer conference in NYC but there was ONE thing I was fully confident in.  I had been ME in my blog.  I had told no tall tales.  I had not embellished my life. I had not tried to be funnier than I am in person or promised to be more social than I actually am.  I never wrote that I have a perfect marriage or that my kids don’t give me grief.  I portrayed myself as a bit insecure, full of doubts and wonders, sometimes too sarcastic, and not so brave. I am in my blog who I am in person.

Like me. Or not. (But come one, you all liked me right?  Right?)

And that made the experience at BlogHer so much easier for me.  Because way too often, I feel like I have to live up to something that I either WISH I was or think other people WANT me to be.  Instead I went into this thinking, people that I care about in this world expect me to be that person.  Want me to be that person.  The one who may be too sensitive and ask too many questions but who can also laugh at myself and not take things too seriously. Because people DO keep coming back to read my blog and comment on my life so they must like THAT person…

I had told myself going into the weekend that if I felt I couldn’t be ME (that Drama for Mama Me) then this blogosphere was bullshit.  And I’d be done with it.  I would have blown the whistle and called it quits.

Luckily, that didn’t happen.  Yes, there were a few I was disappointed in.  A few I walked away from feeling sad and let down.  A few I wanted to tell to get over themselves.  But I shook it off pretty easily and managed to find my space within these 2400 women.  It was a small space.  But one I didn’t want to leave.

The only sadness I did feel as I traveled home late on Saturday night and haven’t quite been able to shake, is that I wasn’t able to grab onto a few women I adore in this online world, look them in the eye and tell them “You inspire me.”  I wanted to hug some women I met and not let go.  And tell them how I dream of writing the way they do.  Take the photographs they create.  Find the strength they have every day. But I didn’t.  Because I ran out of time.  Or because they would have thought I was a stalking freak.   Or it was too damn noisy and crowded and I knew they’d never hear my squeaky voice.  Or I was too insecure.

But I am sad I didn’t manage to talk more to some people.  Just sit and talk.  In a way that it’s impossible to do very often at home.  Because talking and reading/commenting is just not the same.  And I would have loved to hear some more of my friend’s real thoughts on life beyond the blog.

And to those of my friends who I DID get to spend quality time with, at breakfast, at dinners, beside each other in sessions, sitting in the sun on a random wall, in the Jimmy Dean chill out room, or having a drink Outside the Gala, Thank You.  I adore you. I loved every second with you.  You are the friends I find it so hard to make on a regular basis.

So now, post BogHer is when I wish more people lived Here.  Where we can sit on my front stoop together and chat.  Face to face. I was fine before BlogHer with the computer screen between us, but now I’m not.  Because now so many of you are my IRL friends.  Not just my Blog Friends.  And it sucks that the roads, these long long roads, come between us.

So maybe I’ll pick up the phone every once in a while to hear your voices.  Or I’ll write you some notes on Paper or outside of your blogs to keep the friendships moving forward. Maybe you’ll open your door one day and find me standing there with a pitcher of Pink Twitters (virgin or not).  Because THAT is what I enjoyed so much this weekend.  Not the sessions.  Not the getting dressed up.  Not the parties.  No, it was YOU.  The ones who helped me find this place, stay in this space, and reminded me how important it is to be ME.




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31 responses to “That was Me

  1. If you weren’t YOU you would have SUCKED. But knowing that you can only BE YOU makes it easier for me to be ME when I’m around you. Really, just knowing that you were there being who you are–a lovely, candid, funny, sweet, sassy, spunky woman–helped ME to relax whether or not we were even in the same room.

    I’m not sure I’ll go to Blogher again but I’m damn sure we’ll be meeting for lunch or drinks or museum dates…
    Luckily we have the advantage of short distance that so many don’t.

  2. Pop

    Wonderfully written! And I like you as a blogger – missing tooth and all! ;-P

  3. Yay! So glad to hear that the Real You is the same as the Blogger You. Because I like the Blogger You. So… keep being you! (okay, that was a lot of you’s!) 🙂

    But seriously, I often wonder when I read certain blogs… How many people are *really* what/who they say they are? I think I have to keep believing that everyone is as honest as I am, but I know that’s not really true. And I guess you can’t really know for sure until you meet them IRL.

    I’m so glad you got to meet some great bloggy friends and spent some quality time with them. I think that was one of the main reasons for going to BlogHer for many people. I’m really enjoying reading all of the post-conference posts (good and bad). Thanks!

  4. Thank you for such GREAT advice to a new blogger! And thanks for being you. 🙂

  5. Well I think your brave for going in the first place and adventuring outside of your comfort zone. I thankfully went with some old friends from ‘real life’ and so I had a lil protective barrier to help me ease my natural nervousness. (wine helps too!), but we all felt like super impressed by the solo peoples or people who traveled not knowing if they’d meet anyone there or not.

    so props to you!

  6. I think that you were brave to set outside the comfort zone and go to BlogHer in the first place. And all we can really be is our authentic selves, in the blogsphere and out in the real world. I am so happy that the experience was a positive one for you. Makes me want to put on my big girl panties and try it next year…

  7. I feel the exact same way. Loved this and loved meeting you!! xo

  8. Next time, we’re spending more time together. Well, I don’t know if I’m going again but maybe we’ll do SmallPiddlyBlogHer11 in some form. That way we can spend time with the people we want to most. xoxo

  9. I still don’t really know you, darn it. But it was great to get a big hug.

    The second huge event wherein we hug and say hi and have no time for a conversation. How ironic!

    Glad you had a great time. I had a BALL.

  10. Your post made me think of this quote I ran across the other day: “Why try to be someone you’re not? Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required.” ~Robert Brault

  11. I so wish I could have been there to meet you.

  12. Pingback: Tweets that mention That was Me « Drama For Mama --

  13. I’m sorry we didn’t meet at BlogHer, but I hope we get to meet out here in the real world sometime soon.

  14. I’m bummed I didn’t get to connect with you at BlogHer. Even though I just found your blog a few weeks ago, I knew I’d like you (in person) instantly. Next time… (and in the meantime…)

  15. There is nothing better than being yourself in this world 🙂 especially at something as crazy and intense as BlogHer! Was so nice to see you in person!

  16. What a wonderful post. And advice. (Pink Twitters????)

  17. I really wish I could have sat down and talked some more, too, to people like you. (I didn’t mean for that to rhyme.) There just wasn’t enough time for the swagging and hagging and just plain hanging. But I had fun meeting you and am totally down for a SumHer meet up.

  18. Grrrrr, wish I could have been at BlogHer to meet you, love your style! Next year I vow to find a sugar daddy to pay for my trip (shhhh, don’t tell my hubby!)

  19. I LOVED this post – I only wish I could have met YOU at BlogHer!!

  20. Great post…love love love it, you are so right about being yourself. From what I could tell during our five minutes on a couch outside of sessions, you are as sweet and honest IRL as you are on your blog. 🙂 We need to get out Fairfield County blogging group together once we have lives again.

  21. Dio

    So beautifully written and inspiring. Best wishes always.

  22. I blogged about how much fun I had at BlogHer, how it exceeded my expectations, but – I do regret not getting to spend more time with other bloggers I adore, like yourself. Meeting you and saying ‘hi!’ was just NOT enough! Next year… I vow to make the time for longer conversations! So nice ot meet you, regardless. Great post! xoxo

  23. Great post. Glad you got to be real you and connect with others at the same time. I often wish that some of my bloggy friends lived down the street…

  24. And you were everything I hoped and imagined you to be and more. Genuine, kind and fun to be around. Thank you for that. Thank you for just being a friend always, and for liking me for who I am. I can’t say that enough. And thank you for the laughs…oh and Ruby Foos which people are telling me is really a landmark. How didn’t I know that?

  25. I love this post for so many reasons. I wish we had been able to sit down and really chat. Maybe a wine date here in the city soon?

    Thanks, as always, for being you.

  26. LZ

    You (and the friends I met) were the part of BlogHer that truly exceeded my expectations.
    You are wonderful – I wish we lived closer, except that you’d be sick of me calling to hang out every single day. You’re so sweet and so fun, and I loved every second that we got to hang out.
    Can’t wait to see you soon 🙂

  27. Wow… thats inspiring me !!! Love your blog.. and love the person that writes it 😀

  28. It’s so easy to put on a fake face when the only one people ever see is the screen shot. I’m glad you don’t. It’s one of the reasons I like coming here. And I’m up for a SmallPiddlyBlogHer ’11, like Kitch suggested. =>

  29. Liz

    Deep sigh. I thought of Blogher all weekend and wondered about you all…Becca, I hope one day we can meet face to face, even though we do live so far away. I’m jealous. And proud of you.

  30. Becca – I think the main reason people come back to your blog is your warmth and honesty and willingness to be vulnerable. I can only imagine how amazing it is to hug THAT in real life. BlogHer was lucky to have you.

    I love the sound of SmallPiddlyBlogHer11. I would totally come to that.

  31. absolutely love your blog. I just stumbled on it from Scary Mommy’s soy-joy contest.
    you have a wonderful way with words.

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