Just a Mom – Project Momcasting

I’m Becca.

(You don’t really need to see my FACE do you?  Oh, ok, fine…)

I’m a master overthinker, pro-question asker, and an obsessor of living in the moment.

I am not anything so exciting.  You won’t weep or cheer over my story. I have not been to hell and back nor am I climbing toward an impossible peak.  But I am Real. And although I don’t have a STORY to tell.  I have stories to tell.  Stories that have made ME weep.  Have made ME laugh until my sides, toes and hair follicles hurt.

My unique stories are those of wanting desperately to live in the moment.  To open my eyes and see what is developing, blooming, and amazing Today.  I am scared to death of missing something.  Of being so focused on mothering Right that I miss Mothering.

I was lost before I found this place.  Alone. Felt thrown into a world of stay at home motherhood that I was totally unprepared for.  I had few local friends to call and cry to. Or with.  I felt suddenly surrounded by overachieving, competitive moms who forced me to retreat further inside my head.  My kids were looking to me to make them feel warm, safe and comforted when I myself felt none of these things.  Yes, I have a husband. A doting, loving, husband, but one that is not HERE in most of the hours that I need him here.  A husband who hasn’t walked in my shoes.  Trendy shoes that used to carry me into my work office and are now comfortable and playground appropriate, but oh so not chic.  And I still struggle daily with how to feel a Part of Something.

I am not a writer.  I do not have thousands of followers.  More like dozens. But they have filled my void. THIS has filled my void. I now have a home for my musings, my wonderings, my obsessions. And I feel normal, welcomed and loved for saying them.

I am self deprecating. I will tell you I suck at being a mom. That I don’t set enough limits. I give too many chances. I want to be my kids’ friend more than their mom. That I believe I’m secretly being filmed for The Nanny show based on the tantrums I’ve endured. I admit I cry.  In front of my kids.  Because I don’t know what else to do.

Instead of a hero, I’m just a mom. A mom that feels like a girl in a mom’s costume. A girl who has so many stories to tell… and I do in a voice that I believe many can relate to.  And this show, this REALITY show should have a mom on a journey that represents what REALLY goes on in so many houses, just like mine.  Where we, as moms, are lost and confused, and looking for a manual to tell us how to do it Right.

If there even is a Right way to do it.

This post was my entry for Project Momcasting.  Because, well, a girl can dream of being on TV even at my old age, right?  Below is the link for more info.  But please don’t now go and submit your unbelievably inspiring, heart wrenching, beautifully written or hysterical entry because then YOU’LL get on the show and I won’t and I’ll have something else to obsess about…  But go read the other entries because truly, they are AMAZING.  And my vote goes to Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

http://www.facebook.com/MomCasting

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43 Comments

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43 responses to “Just a Mom – Project Momcasting

  1. This is lovely – and so HONEST! We live in an area where being a stay-home mom is almost as competitive and stressful as being a working mom. I started blogging when we moved to CT from the West Coast. I felt the same way and I had been doing this mothering thing for ten years at that point. Sharing your story helps you and others, keep it up!

  2. Oh lady. THIS is a STORY. THIS is what other moms truly need to see. THIS is why we’re here in these spaces, finding like-minded question-askers who feel like they’re pretending at grown-up motherhood. There’s is a bit of that in every mother. And that’s what story-telling is-telling the TRUTH.

    SO. All that to say, YOUR story would resonate. I’m sure of it. To follow you through your tantrums and tears and begging yourself to live in the moment-to see how we friends of yours on line cheer you on…yeah, that’s good stuff.

    Love you. See you SOOOOON 😉

  3. Nicely done. Good luck!

  4. Becca, this is why WE love you, for your honesty, your beauty and your commitment to just being. It’s a beautiful thing, and I’m so proud of you for trying and entering this! I’m on your side my friend!!

    This resonted with me as things in my head move in a particular direction, thank you for this to think about and reflect on:

    ” I am scared to death of missing something. Of being so focused on mothering Right that I miss Mothering.”

    Good luck!!

  5. LZ

    Nope. I vote for you! Perfect post…

  6. This is beautifully written–and many many many women will relate to it.

    Rooting for you (in life and for momcasting!)

    xo

  7. Very real, honest post. I would – just once – like to see one of these “reality” shows that actually reflects a true reality. Good luck!

  8. Love this! You’re making me pick between you and Heather?! Impossible! Glad you’re both entering this!

  9. Love how you kept it real. All of it. This is what motherhood looks like in my head.

  10. I just found your site and wanted to tell you that I loved this post. I feel the same way about many things that you said (although I do still get to wear cute shoes to work).

    PS. If you find that manual, can you send it my way? Thanks! 🙂

  11. I love this! It’s perfect. So very you. And actually, so very me too. I miss chich shoes, I just had a conversation about that this weekend. And yea, I’ve cried in front of my son. Which is why he now goes around asking everyone if something is wrong. Sigh.

  12. Becca, this is wonderful! Go for it, sweetie! I’ll be cheering for both you and our Heather–two women were never more deserving.

  13. Beautiful! I completely understand what you are saying — I AM you I think! You would be great for the show! Good luck. 🙂

  14. Oh, I can comment on my bb! I love this post! I knew I would. Honestly, I have no idea why you don’t have thousands of readers. You are one of my fav bloggers- because you’re so real and honest.

  15. Nicki

    Cool! I can’t wait to see how this plays out, Becca.

  16. We need a REAL Real Housewife on TV!! I hope you get it!

  17. I absolutely loved this. Could have said it myself. I have waffled and hemmed and hawed for days about whether or not to toss my name out there. For all the same reasons. Yes, we all have a story. I am just not sure anyone else would care much about mine.

    Okay, I am rambling. Long story short, I loved this. You go!

  18. Beautifully written! I feel so much the same, except I never wore cute shoes. I love your voice, your authenticity. Good luck!

  19. I’m not scooting over to read any other entries because I think your is perfect! I wish I had had tis resource when my children were young! I feel like I’ve sort of walked in your shoes, and it went by all too quickly!

  20. Pop

    I’d vote for you simply based on the number of times ‘bacon’ is mentioned on your homepage. Oh, and the fact that your blog is awesome!

  21. Kim

    Love this post. The Momcasters would be lucky to have you. Maybe you could re-live the fireworks display from a few years ago 4th of July. 🙂 Miss you!

  22. You have my vote, Becca! You’ve always been so wonderful with your comments/responses, and I’ve always been able to easily relate to you. If you were on TV, it would restore my faith on reality TV because YOU are what’s real. Good luck!

  23. Jen

    Good for you, Becca. Jumping in (I mean, cartwheeling in). Real is what we all need to see and believe in. It’s hard to find real reflected in popular culture. And I’m all for it. And you!

  24. Love the cartwheel pic! I loved your entry — very real, very honest, and super relatable. Good luck!

  25. drama's mama

    Your post is always very revealing of you: your warmth, concerns, fears, humor, happiness, disappointments…You make me laugh and feel such saddness at the same time. I missed so many of the moments you capture every day when I was too busy “doing the right thing” as a Mom. I don’t know any other Mom who lives so “in the moment” as you–your stories are perfect. I love your family through your eyes and so would the world.

  26. Liz

    Hi Becca. I know, it’s been a while. I’ve been lazy this summer (insert sheepish grin here). Anyways, I loved this post. I didn’t even read about the momcasting thing, but I just love this. I remember! I remember when you started! I remember your lists each day. I remember your frustrations, your trepidations, your hesitations: should I stick this out? YES! I said. YES! And here you are…rockin’ it. Big time. I know this sounds corny, but I sincerely feel like I”ve seen you “grow” through this blog.
    P.S. Funny, unrelated story: my 2 year old finds me in my room the other day, a proud grin on his face, going: “Mama! Press! Puter!” So I’m like, “You pressed something on the computer?!?” And he responds “Yeah! Press! Me! Come!” So he takes me by the hand, and I SWEAR I AM NOT KIDDING OR MAKING THIS UP, on my screen is: YOU! Yes, little Aidan somehow clicked something to make your profile pic my wall paper! My husband walks in and is like: “Who is that?” And I’m doubled over, going: “That’s Becca! That’s Drama for Mama!”

  27. I love this post/entry! All of the reasons why you write are exactly why I love reading your blog! You are an honest, down-to-earth, sensitive and caring mom. And I would totally LOVE watching you on TV, too! A REAL mom on a reality show… it would be refreshing!

  28. Melissa

    I think you’re pretty freaking awesome!

  29. What a great post. Thanks for always being entertaining and relevant. I don’t want to be on TV. I like to hide behind my computer 😉 but you GO girl!!

  30. What a wonderfully written post. Stopping by from Things I Can’t say.
    I love your honesty and can so relate to the overwhelming feelings.

  31. Beautiful post! Blogging is such a wonderful venue to share our stories and connect with each other, isn’t it?

  32. Your thoughts reflect mine. How refreshing! Popping over from Things I can’t say! You’ve got my vote!

  33. I’m here from Shell’s place. I love this post it’s so well said and even though I work outside the home, I could have written it myself from the thoughts in my head. I feel so compelled to be “better” all the time and it’s so hard to do. I try to do “everything” because I work, but I fail. Lately though, I don’t see it as failure, but as my best effort and for it to be good enough for my family, I have to learn that it’s good enough for me first.

  34. Love this post! So real, so touching! It’s what we all can relate to!

  35. What a great post – so honest! I can completely relate to you in every way. I am so glad to have found your blog through Shell at Things I Can’t Say….now following you 🙂 Good luck!

  36. This is beautifully written, and I can totally relate to it! Sometime I feel like I miss so much of the joys of motherhood just trying to be a mom! It’s a frustrating balance I have not found. Great post. I stopped by b/c Shell at Things I can’t say told us to. 🙂 So glad I did! I’m a new follower!

  37. Beautifully written, Becca! I think you nailed how so many of us feel and my vote definitely goes to you. xxoo

  38. I loved your post.
    There are no instructions, just follow your heart.
    Good luck to you
    Sherri

  39. Bravo! I’m giving you a standing ovation. I think more moms than you think feel exactly the same way.

  40. Hi there…hopping over from Shell’s Blog. I love your post, it is so real. I too am happy to have found blogging. I would be lost without it. I just wish I had had it a year earlier when I was in a dark cloud.

    I am going up to see if you have GFC and will become your newest follower!

  41. Very very good post! And really most of us don’t have the gut wrenching stories or the victory ones. We are who we are. Beautifully put. I found you from Shell.

  42. Bebe

    Becca,
    I so love your blog: in fact , it is my eagerly anticipated “bed time story”!
    I delight in your escapades and musings, marvel at your unabashed honesty, and empathize for your worries and fears. Your stories always reflect your deep rooted love, sensitivity and humor. How lucky for your Blogfriends; how much luckier for your family!( which may I add are soo
    incredibly cute)

  43. Hi there! I found you on Shell’s blog and i have to say, she was right. I just love your post here. And I really hope you win the spot on that show – we need REAL people showing the world what it’s really like to be a mom, a woman, a wife.

    I can’t wait to read more! Run on.

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