Do you remember that post I wrote on Fitting In? The one where I tried to explain to Hannah that she shouldn’t care so much about doing the same things or looking the same as her friends? The one where I told her that who she IS and how she ACTS is so much more important than what she does or how she looks to fit in?
Well, I need to have Her read that post to Me.
Because today I went shopping.
For clothes I really don’t need, but felt I should have, for this little conference that you may have heard of called BlogHer. A three day conference with thousands of women I don’t know and who don’t know me. Because over the past few weeks I’ve been inundated and overwhelmed with tweets, Facebook updates and blog posts in regards to what people are wearing and how my wardrobe choices are correlated to who I meet and how I Fit In. Because we all know how we are effected by First Impressions. And oftentimes what we wear is the first glimpse into who we Are.
So I went shopping. And I thought about those first impressions and how I wanted to be perceived. And I spent money that I Do Not Have. Because as you know, Tim is the Bringer of the Bacon. And I am just far too good at consuming the bacon. But bacon really isn’t so good for me. I need to stay AWAY from the bacon. But I bought some clothes that are so Me. Clothes that I never get to wear anymore in my days filled with spraying hoses, dirty playgrounds and swimming pools. Clothes that I would be so thrilled to put on after a relaxing shower ALONE in the hotel room at the conference. Clothes in which I’d feel Confident and Special in.
But then I got home. And I sat my shopping bag on my bed and I saw the receipt laying on the top of the clothes in the bag. The high price total glaring up at me. And I shook my head at myself.
Because these clothes don’t make Me. And the clothes I had planned on wearing before I got over-consumed with the fashion of it all won’t break Me. I’ve already made my first impressions. Or many of them at least. Through my words. Through my thoughts. Through my (usually) thoughtful comments and emails and tweets. And people will remember me from BlogHer (good and bad) because of my incessant question asking, tendency to laugh at everything, failure to use words correctly, issue with talking too quietly in loud places, and squeaky voice when I drink (even a glass of wine).
And believe me, I won’t remember you by what you’re wearing (well, I might if you’re wearing some incredibly amazing necklace that I probably tried to figure out how to discretely grab from your neck, or if you’re wearing shoes that you obviously are having a really hard time walking in). I’ll remember how you made me laugh. How you remembered a moving blog post I wrote. How you were welcoming and warm even if there were more interesting or “popular” bloggers around to meet.
I told a blog friend recently that a fabulous personality can compensate for a poor sense of style or fear of being overweight. But a fantastic, expensive outfit can NOT compensate for a lame personality.
So I’m returning my new clothes (unless I can think of another opportunity to wear these oh so chic outfits) and you’ll just have to love me, and remember me, for Me. Because if I’m lecturing Hannah for caring too much about everyone else and how she’ll Fit In… I better follow my own words of wisdom.