I’m starting a new event. It’s out of laziness really because I am in the mood to write tonight but have nothing intriguing, compelling or even interesting to write about. So, starting today and maybe ending today, each Tuesday will be, “Am I the Only One? Tuesday“.
If I was at all creative or computer savvy I’d create a cute little button so that you could join me. But for now… enjoy my post on my recent observations that have left me shaking my head.
Am I the only one… with a five year old child who:
– Watches the “commercials” during Nick Jr programming intended for parents? She told me that yesterday she learned after Maggie and the Ferocious Beast that parents are “often anxious before their children start Kindergarten because it’s a big responsibility to send them off to school. It’s normal mommy to feel this way”, she consoled me.
– Demands I apologize after scolding her? She stomped down the stairs yesterday after a time out, her hands on her hips, her face inches from mine and said, “Do you have anything to say to me?”
“An apology maybe?”
“I don’t have anything to apologize for Hannah.”
“Oh yes you do! Now, let me hear it and make sure it’s from the bottom of your heart!”
– Has a make believe language that she uses only with the family. Where no one can understand what she’s trying to say. It was cute at first. But quickly became annoying. Especially since Luke, who is struggling to speak, is repeating all of her pretend words and looking confused as to why she’s calling him “Sam”.
– Doesn’t seem to be the least bit saddened by the thought of people or animals dying, but cries elephant tears when the weeds she picked from our yard are wilted and brown the day after she carefully placed them in a vase? Wondering “why on earth” they don’t live longer than a day.
– Is the worst backseat driver on the east coast (or the world)? She shouts at me to hold the steering wheel with two hands. She yells, “Go!” when a light turns green. She comments if I don’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign. She notifies me if I am coming close to the yellow lines in the road. And god forbid, if I glance at my phone, “NOT SAFE!” rings through my head from the back seat.
– Can work the Tivo, DVD, stereo, and answering machine and can buy apps on my iPhone on her own, YET, refuses to wipe her tush, brush her teeth, or get in her pajamas by herself?
– Requests medication by name (Benedryl, Tylenol, Motrin, Zyrtec, Zoponex, Pulmocort, steroid cream, etc.) but still calls the remote control the “morote”, thinks her swim class at camp is “constructional” swim and thinks things that are HUGE are “hermendous”?
– Thinks she’ll get struck by lightning if she’s drinking water?
– Wants me to explain length of time by Wow Wow Wubbzy episodes?
– Requested I give her “an example of an example”?
– Overheard me complaining about my ugly feet and told me it’s what’s on the inside that counts?
– After she shouts something tells me that if she “had written that, it would have been in all Upper Case letters.”?
– Tells me she can’t fall asleep at night because she has too much going on in her head?
– Thinks the bus is the best part of the day at camp?
Really? Is it just me?