Just today I have cleaned up 63 small Matchbox, HotWheels and other assorted cars 4 times. Back into the case only to be overturned moments later. I also have moved the kitchen chairs from the laundry room and family room 3 times. The chair was in the laundry room because Hannah was trying to reach the bag of My Little Pet Shops that I hid on the top shelf because of her poor behavior. She reached them but they spilled all over the floor. Pieces everywhere. 77 pieces. I counted.
The dishes are once again overflowing in the kitchen sink.
Pajamas are in the downstairs bathroom along with soup bowls and plastic spoons from the kitchen.
Pieces of ripped paper and broken crayons are sprayed around the family room floor. Two of the crayons are half chewed and soggy from the dog deciding they were lunch.
I just stepped on a wooden stamp that pierced my big toe. There’s a thermometer on the kitchen counter from taking both kids temperature with hopes that they are finally healthy after too many weeks of who-knows-what sickness.
I left the house earlier with both kids in tow to return two movies to the library. I hadn’t known movies are only allowed out for four days so they were both 4 days late. $2.00 that I didn’t need to spend and a sad daughter that the late charges were on HER new card.
I left the library with a screaming son because he wanted to participate in a mommy and me song class that we are not signed up for. I wasn’t able to explain to a two year old what “not signed up for means”. I also left the library with a complaining five year old that she was STARVING so I spontaneously decided on MacDonalds across the street. Hannah didn’t get the toy she wanted in her Happy Meal and stomped her feet in anger. Luke wanted to drive his Happy Meal car on the table next to us occupied by a homeless man. Hannah wanted to know what was wrong with the Homeless man. Why was he sleeping on the bench? She wouldn’t take, “I’m not sure” for an answer.
My starving five year old didn’t want to eat her lunch. She wasn’t hungry for “that”. “Sometimes when you’re hungry mommy, you don’t know what your hungry for until you’re eating it and realize it wasn’t for THAT.”
We left in a huff. Only to find the meter maid writing me a ticket for my car parked five minutes too long. My pleading got me no where. The bright orange ticket was already printed.
I put both kids in their car seats, wiped their runny, mucousy noses and buckled them safely.
And then I cried. In front of both kids, hands over my face. I cried tears of exhaustion. Tears of desperation. Real, Sobbing tears.
“Mommy, what’s wrong? Mommy, tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” said Hannah from the back seat reaching her hand toward me.
“I’m just tired Hannah. Just tired.”
“So mommy, let’s just go home and rest. I’ll read you a story, and you can rest.”
Rest. How I wish I could just rest. Without messes. Without fights. Without sickness. Without worry. Just rest.
I wish it could be so easy. I wish Something could be so easy.