Years Gone By

Today I am thirty-eight.  Happy Birthday to me!  Thirty-eight.  How did that happen?  I spend so much time freaking out over how fast time is going with my kids that I don’t even realize how every day of my own life is fleeting as well.

A couple years ago I was six.  I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz in our first grade production.  I skipped across the stage in my sparkly red slippers, sitting down half way through to fix the elastic while the rest of the class continued singing.

A few months ago I was eight.  I had my birthday party at Roller Land and wore my knickers.  I remember them clearly.  Maroon corduroy.  Don’t judge.

Weeks ago I was sixteen.  I started to drive.  My red Volkswagon Rabbit.  Stick shift.  I experienced independence for the first time.  I could roll down the windows when I felt the need to feel the wind in my hair.  Listen to the music I wanted. At the volume  I wanted. Go where I wanted.  I got my first kiss.  Thanks Adam. It was weird but wonderful.

Days ago I was twenty-one and I left college, scared.  Anxious. Alone.  I moved to NYC on my own to start Life.  I meandered through the numbered streets blind to what was ahead.  I got my first pedicure.  That’s right, twenty-one was the first time I experienced that bliss.

Yesterday I met Tim.  I was twenty-four.  My first blind date that felt right.  Mr Nice Guy felt right.  I felt saved.  Safe.  It was the first big step forward that I knew was right.

Minutes ago I got married at twenty-nine.  I forgot to put the veil over my face as I walked down the aisle.  The Rabbi forgot Tim was Jewish.  I forgot to give a thank you toast to my friends and family.  (Thank you mom and dad for shelling out far too much money. But it was perfect.)  But I remember every detail.  Like it was yesterday.

Everything seems like it Was Yesterday.  The vacations. The moves. The decisions.  The births.  The birthdays.  So much has happened in what seems like so few days.  The days are all blurred together yet so clear in my mind.  Life.  Thirty-eight years of life.  And thankfully I have so much to show for it.  (Including bags under my eyes, disheveled hair that is lucky to see a blow dryer once a week, unpedicured toes, a messy house, and triceps that sadly wiggle when I blow dry my hair).  I’ve always said to those who complain about turning a year older that the only reason you should be unhappy about Your Day is if you’re unhappy with your life.  I couldn’t be happier with my life.

So I will celebrate my day today as if I’m little again. Everywhere I go I will let everyone know it’s my birthday.  I will buy balloons.  I will have a cake with thirty-eight candles.  And I will blow them out with a wish for the next thirty-eight to be as wonderful as the first.  But maybe a little slower.



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33 responses to “Years Gone By

  1. Wow, this was amazing… Happy Birthday to you! This post gave me the chills… it’s amazing how quickly time flies, isn’t it? Happy celebrating!!!

  2. Happy Birthday! You don’t look a day over 18 😉

  3. Happy birthday, you Spring chicken! Hope you are spoiled in the manner you deserve!

  4. Happy Birthday!! I hope Tim takes you on a fabulous date!

  5. Nicki

    Happy, happy!!!

  6. Happy Birthday Girl. Have a smile on for you over at Momalom today. My gift to you. Small, but meaningful, ya know?


  7. Happy birthday!
    I totally know what you mean about how this was all yesterday … yet for me somehow it was both yesterday AND a million years ago – most of the big things seem intensely immediate and also incredibly distant.
    Happy, happy 38! Am glad to be walking this path with you.

  8. Loved your reminiscence! (Not judging the maroon… 🙂 )

    Yes! Balloons & candles! That’s the best – especially with family around to help celebrate. So happy birthday! (And you aren’t quite at the point yet where you need to make the cakes oversized to fit all the candles. So enjoy it, girlfriend!)

  9. Happy Birthday Becca!! I hope you have a fabulous day today – you truly deserve every minute of it 🙂

  10. what a fantastic post – happy birthday!

    also, i myself was, and still am, a fan of corduroy in any color.

  11. Happy Birthday! Party like you’re eight!

    PS – I had grey flannel knickers.

  12. I love this line: “the only reason you should be unhappy about Your Day is if you’re unhappy with your life. I couldn’t be happier with my life.”

    I am so happy to have “met” you this year and I thank you for sharing pieces of your happy life with us.

    Enjoy your day!!


  13. Beautiful. I hope it goes slowly for you as well. Happy happy happy to you!

  14. Happy Birthday, Becca! What you describe here is so universal. The march of time moves much too quickly for most of us. But your memories are lovely – clear and crisp, as they will hopefully remain for a long time. Enjoy your cake and candles!!

  15. Becca, Happy Birthday, my fellow March baby (so what if I was 12 when you were born?).

    My husband still feels a little perturbed that our Rabbi had him do the 7 circles around me instead of vice versa. I guess it was kind of a liberal interpretation! But, hey, I signed the ketubah offering me 18 cows if we get divorced, right?

    A beautiful essay. Have a wonderful day.

  16. I love this. It was beautiful to read; like poetry – blogetry?

    I, also, have never understood the apprehension about getting older, so now I think I’m going to steal your line because it is so PERFECT.

    (Also, I have my first – and second – pedicure this year, at 31.)


  17. Happy birthday! I agree, the time goes by way too fast and the whole time it feels like we’re standing still (while the kids age with lightning speed).

  18. Happy birthday Becca! I understand it all, I am one year behind you and don’t feel any older than 21. It all feels like yesterday…

    Hoping the cake is fabulous and the singing is loud and joyful!

  19. Hope you get to take a few nostalgic spins around the roller rink on your big day. Maroon knickers required! Happy Birthday!

  20. Julia

    Hi, recently discovered your blog – couldn’t resist commenting as we share same 38th birthday, lol. Glad you had a good one. X

  21. Your so lucky that you can remember the “little” days. When you get older (40) then you start forgetting things that you wish you could remember. Have a happy birthday and enjoy being young!

  22. Happy Birthday! I’m right behind you, I’ll be 37 soon.

  23. joely

    Happy Birthday Ms Becca! Wonderful stories you told. And by the way I still have some corduroy knickers and I think they are still great, actually I have a silk pair too. Pathetic.
    I am writing because what you said in your post reminded me of 2 things:
    1. I read this somewhere that if death meant just a costume change behind the stage into a new character, would you slow the play down or speed it up? Anyhow I thought you answered that beautifully.
    2. In a previous blog this was a topic of yours and you seem to have come full circle into loving every little moment of the past and looking forward to every next crazy, beautiful, emotional moment.
    Hope you had a wonderful day.

  24. lz

    As always, well said! A birthday is a day to celebrate, and it sounds like you are doing exactly that!
    It is amazing how quickly time flies…

  25. lz

    Oh, and I had navy blue corduroy knickers. they were awesome!

  26. This was a beautiful post. I got teary-eyed because the passing of time has been front and center in my life as of late. You are completely right. When you are happy how can you be despondent about Your Day? The best way to deal with time is to enjoy the right here, right now. When the kids are grown and have gone you will look back and be satisfied that you appreciated when you had them small. That is all I am hoping for myself.

  27. the days melt into each other. It becomes a blur. I can’t remember 38. I was pregnant at 38. I do remember that.

    Happy Birthday. Enjoy! I love my birthday. Kisses and hugs.

  28. Happy Birthday! What a great thing you are teaching your babies! You are so right about being happy about your day. 😀

  29. Pingback: In the Cards « Drama For Mama

  30. Happy belated birthday, Becca!

    It’s amazing how quickly it goes. THat’s one reason I started sticking with the blog. I don’t want to lose anything.

  31. This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest

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