Lovey

I’ve got love on the brain.  I’ve been reading all of the fantastic love letters posted at Momalom for Love it Up and so, I’m giddy with love.  I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day.  When I was little it was nervewracking to anticipate getting a Valentine from the right guy.  To find the courage to give one to “The” guy. When I was single it was depressing to have no one to give to or receive from.  When I was dating someone, there was such pressure.  Pressure to receive flowers at work.  Pressure to buy my date the appropriate gift.  And now that I’m married, I hope I don’t need the excuse of a Hallmark holiday to tell Tim I love him.  I hope there aren’t other people who only show their love and their passion for their loved one on this day.

But, Valentine’s Day or not, I love LOVE.  I love understanding what makes people fall in love.  I am easily brought to tears hearing people’s love story.  I always ask about people’s love story.  I love my own.

And even Hannah has one.  She asked me the other day what I was writing as I sat giggling as I wrote my Love Letter to my dear Sleep.  I told her I was writing a love letter and went on to explain what one is.  And then I asked her if she’d like to write one.

She carefully dictated the below letter to me and I wrote it word for word.

Dear Ellie,

I love you because I love to cuddle with you when I’m tired.  You make me feel happy.  When I’m sad I always come over to you and give you a nice cuddle and squeeze. And I love to stroke your nice fur.  I love your spots and your spots are so comfortable. Like the bump on top of your head, I like to stroke it backwards and forwards. I like to stroke you with my face even. I love some more spots and everything on you Ellie and you are my favorite stuffed animal in the whole entire world. I think you’ll be very old when I grow up but I’ll still love you forever and ever and ever.

Love,

Your Best Friend Hannah

There is no stronger bond than the one between Hannah and Ellie.  They’ve been together through it all.  At the first sign of sadness, sleepiness, caution, nervousness or excitement, it is Ellie she turns to.  Since her first night in her crib, Ellie has been by her side as she sleeps.  Ellie is still toted to and from school for naps, and as Kindergarten looms in the near future, I know Hannah frets about their separation.

I wish I had an Ellie.  Someone who I can grab and pull close to me and I am certain will relax my muscles when I’m tense.  Someone who I can reach for in my saddest moments and will dry the tears from my cheeks.  Because as much as my loving, doting husband is my confidant, my soul mate and my best friend, he’s not ALWAYS what I need.  And I can’t drag him around with me by his ear (or trunk). He has OPINIONS that I don’t always want to hear.  Petting his head doesn’t help me drift off to sleep.  When I’m really pissed, I can’t throw him up against the wall to make a dramatic statement.  Hannah is so lucky at her young age to have found such love.

So I’d like to write my own little love letter to Ellie too.

Dear Ellie,

Thank you.  Thank you for sticking by Hannah. Thank you for helping her through some really tough days where I was not able to be what she needed.  When I have to be her mommy and can’t be her friend, you’ve stepped in with your own hugs.  When the excruciating pain from her broken leg was too much to bare, you brought her calm as she slept.  All of her other baby dolls and stuffed animals have come and gone, but you, you are irreplaceable.  You will always have a place in the center of Hannah’s heart.  I know one day Hannah will grow older and not need you. You’ll sit on a shelf or in a box, and the smell and feel of your rough, old fur will be forgotten.  But I will never forget you.  Never.  Because the happiness you’ve brought Hannah has brought me joy too.

So thank you.

Love, Hannah’s mommy

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28 Comments

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28 responses to “Lovey

  1. Oh, how I love this. Toddler has G.G., her stinky, filthy, amazing giraffe. He has saved us and has made parenting doable. I am not exaggerating. For that, I understand just how important Ellie is in your world. Happy Valentine’s, Ellie! (& Becca & Hannah!)

    • “Stinky, Filthy, Amazing”. Yes Yes Yes. I’m sure noone in their right mind would touch little Ellie but oh what joy she has brought. We’ll just call her “well loved”.

  2. crnnoel

    That is so sweet – Fynn has his blankie, as well as an elephant, and those three are inseparable! Paige never latched on to anything (other than me and Lucas…) but I so wish she did… I think it’d make it easier on us all 😉

    • I’m just glad that I realized early on that Luke was attached to his blankie so I went out and bought dozens of the same one! it’s nice to have them comforted by something other than me but god help us all if Ellie ever gets lost!

  3. My son had a gorilla, Lilly, who was just like this. And one day he accidentally left it at the park across the street. I crossed over and searched in the dark, but it was gone. He still misses that little gorilla, even after we replaced it with another one.

    • Awwww.. I can’t even imagine. i’ve tried replacing Ellie with a cleaner, newer version of herself but no luck… Ellie is Ellie and there is no replacement!

  4. Becca, I love love LOVE this. L-O-V-E. I love that Hannah wrote to Ellie; I love that you wrote to Ellie; I love that Ellie is so very lovable and so very loved.

    I also love your deconstruction of Valentine’s Day at the beginning of this. I think that’s one of the reasons that Jen and I wanted to inspire a little romance in people. Or, at least love and appreciation for little AND big things in our lives.

    • Yes, it is such a great idea to get the loving juices flowing! What would I have done without you? I never would have gotten this beautiful piece out of Hannah!

  5. This is wonderful! I adore Ellie’s letter and then your letter, and the picture of them going down the slide together is priceless!

  6. Jen

    I realize I don’t have a lot of photos of our Ellie equivalent. They are little members of the family, these Loveys. And I adore Hannah’s letter. So touching. Such a good reminder of the REAL feelings of the little people under our roofs.

    • I have a hard time finding pictures WITHOUT Ellie in them. She’s always there. Either in the foreground or background but there nonetheless! She wanted her in her class picture but I drew the line there.

  7. Liz

    Oh Becca, I love this!!! First of all, your child is gifted. Yeah, you probably already know this, but this letter of hers simply confirms the fact that I’m gonna make sure my kid marries your kid. I want smart, sensitive grandchildren.

    • Well then Liz, we need to set up the introduction soon. She’s already decided her husband’s name will be Hal. Yes, Hal. I don’t even know a Hal but it seems like a nice, safe name. I’ll start planting the name Ben in the back of her head.

  8. Tears came to my eyes as I read Hannah’s letter. Children love with such purity and simplicity. There are no caveats. There are no exceptions. I am utterly inspired.

    As an aside, your post reminded me of an article I read in Parenting magazine a couple of years ago. Some Google sleuthing led me to the link. It’s worth reading: http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/Objects-of-Affection/1

    • Oh Gale, I LOVE this article! It made me melt because it is all so familiar to me. I can so relate to the fact that I am more attached to Ellie than even Hannah is and will be devastated when she is no longer.

  9. Excellent post. Oh my goodness.. very touching. I never had a prized stuff animal, nor blanket, nor anything so this connection is a mystery to me. I love that you shared it.

    Stopping by from SITS!

    • Thank you for coming by N&U! I never had anything either when I was little and am fascinated by the obsession that both of my kids have with their lovies!
      Come back soon!

  10. Such a wonderful post, Becca! What would we do – what would our kids do – without these special “guys” in our lives? Big Boy started out with one special “Lamby” and now has a veritable menagerie in his crib. I start to sweat just thinking about what would happen were we to lose one of them…

  11. Both letters are awesome. I love your pictures too.Stopping from SITS!

  12. Not going to lie, I want an Ellie, too!

  13. The Queen has her blankie. Watching her drag it around makes me smile. It also makes me sad that sometimes I can’t comfort her. I know it’s a big part of growing up, but it’s one of the hardest to teach my children.

    Well, I do throw my husband against the wall when I’m in a passion…just a different kind of passion. : ) (Love is on my mind!)

  14. k

    Too bad when we grow up our spouse never quite becomes the lovey we once could count on.

    • Hi K,
      Thanks for coming by! My spouse certainly gives me most of what I look for but not quite what an old raggedy, stinky, well-loved animal can do for a 5 year old. Maybe what I look for has just become to complicated…

  15. What a sweet letter! I love how she knew just who to write to when you explained about love letters. 🙂

    I’m always trying to figure out how to wash our ellie-equivalents at our house. Do I sneak them away in the middle of the night, and hope the kiddo doesn’t wake up? Or try to do it during the day, when they’re more likely to notice but less likely to have the horror of middle of the night wake-up? I have no solution.

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