I’ve got love on the brain. I’ve been reading all of the fantastic love letters posted at Momalom for Love it Up and so, I’m giddy with love. I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. When I was little it was nervewracking to anticipate getting a Valentine from the right guy. To find the courage to give one to “The” guy. When I was single it was depressing to have no one to give to or receive from. When I was dating someone, there was such pressure. Pressure to receive flowers at work. Pressure to buy my date the appropriate gift. And now that I’m married, I hope I don’t need the excuse of a Hallmark holiday to tell Tim I love him. I hope there aren’t other people who only show their love and their passion for their loved one on this day.
But, Valentine’s Day or not, I love LOVE. I love understanding what makes people fall in love. I am easily brought to tears hearing people’s love story. I always ask about people’s love story. I love my own.
And even Hannah has one. She asked me the other day what I was writing as I sat giggling as I wrote my Love Letter to my dear Sleep. I told her I was writing a love letter and went on to explain what one is. And then I asked her if she’d like to write one.
She carefully dictated the below letter to me and I wrote it word for word.
I love you because I love to cuddle with you when I’m tired. You make me feel happy. When I’m sad I always come over to you and give you a nice cuddle and squeeze. And I love to stroke your nice fur. I love your spots and your spots are so comfortable. Like the bump on top of your head, I like to stroke it backwards and forwards. I like to stroke you with my face even. I love some more spots and everything on you Ellie and you are my favorite stuffed animal in the whole entire world. I think you’ll be very old when I grow up but I’ll still love you forever and ever and ever.
Your Best Friend Hannah
There is no stronger bond than the one between Hannah and Ellie. They’ve been together through it all. At the first sign of sadness, sleepiness, caution, nervousness or excitement, it is Ellie she turns to. Since her first night in her crib, Ellie has been by her side as she sleeps. Ellie is still toted to and from school for naps, and as Kindergarten looms in the near future, I know Hannah frets about their separation.
I wish I had an Ellie. Someone who I can grab and pull close to me and I am certain will relax my muscles when I’m tense. Someone who I can reach for in my saddest moments and will dry the tears from my cheeks. Because as much as my loving, doting husband is my confidant, my soul mate and my best friend, he’s not ALWAYS what I need. And I can’t drag him around with me by his ear (or trunk). He has OPINIONS that I don’t always want to hear. Petting his head doesn’t help me drift off to sleep. When I’m really pissed, I can’t throw him up against the wall to make a dramatic statement. Hannah is so lucky at her young age to have found such love.
So I’d like to write my own little love letter to Ellie too.
Thank you. Thank you for sticking by Hannah. Thank you for helping her through some really tough days where I was not able to be what she needed. When I have to be her mommy and can’t be her friend, you’ve stepped in with your own hugs. When the excruciating pain from her broken leg was too much to bare, you brought her calm as she slept. All of her other baby dolls and stuffed animals have come and gone, but you, you are irreplaceable. You will always have a place in the center of Hannah’s heart. I know one day Hannah will grow older and not need you. You’ll sit on a shelf or in a box, and the smell and feel of your rough, old fur will be forgotten. But I will never forget you. Never. Because the happiness you’ve brought Hannah has brought me joy too.
So thank you.