I’ve been trying to keep this thing I have for you hush hush, but it’s getting harder and harder to hide it. I think about you constantly and my heart pounds with excitement when I think of our time together. I fear what people would think of me if they knew how often you’re on my mind and how thrilled I become when the time nears for us to be together. So, I’ve decided to come clean. I’m shouting it out from the mountain tops how I love you so.
There is nothing in this world I miss more when you are not around. I’m told I look gray and feeble when I haven’t seen you in a while. My hair doesn’t shine, my eyes don’t sparkle, and my skin looks wan if I haven’t been in your presence. No shower, hairstyle, makeup or perfume can perk me up the way you do.
Yet, when I HAVE seen you, people always notice. They wonder why I have such a gleaming smile. Why my cheeks are flushed. They notice the skip in my step and the happy pitch of my voice. And I am on top of the world after some time with you. I feel like I can conquer anything. Big issues feel smaller. Things that normally frustrate me, I can patiently handle. I love my job a as a mom that much more, if only I can be wrapped in your arms for some quiet time alone.
I do love our time together alone. Just you and me and my cold pillow under some soft cotton sheets. I like best when we lie still, when you comfort me with little movement. I like to start out time together just the two of us and then have Tim join us after we’re already comfortable with one another. He adds an element of warmth to the mix but really, it’s just you I need.
I’ve been with you in many places in our house. But it’s my bed I love most. I end up with a sore neck when I’m with you on the couch or chair, somehow I always get a small foot to the belly when I’m with you in Hannah’s bed (and she always wakes up thinking it’s weird that I’m in her bed with you), and although the fire was romantic, the time with you on the living room floor was just Not Comfortable. I must be getting old.
Aside from the house, I’ve tried to grab time with you in other random, places and situations for better or worse. Somehow we have a hard time finding comfort together on airplanes. The mile high club will never be reached with us… I just can’t relax enough. I hope you understand. We’ve tried it in the car but with the kids, again, it can be hard. But let’s keep trying, it could make long car rides more enjoyable. You know how I love the times we’ve been together outside. My favorite is in a hammock. Nothing is better than you and me, swinging slowly, the breeze through my hair and the sun in my face. Dreamy. I hope we can grab some quiet time together in the park or by the pool as the warmer days begin to appear this spring. I’ll ask Tim to watch the kids… he won’t even know we’re together.
I blush as I think of the times when we’ve met in the middle of the day. Those times have been sadly infrequent but I’m hoping with Luke starting school, we may be able to steal some quickies here and there. As long as I have time to get myself “together” before I run out to get Hannah and Luke, she’ll probably love the Happy Mommy that will skip through the doors of her school. People may start to whisper if we see each other too often in the middle of the day though… moms just shouldn’t look That Good.
My dear, sweet Sleep. I hope you understand that the only thing that will come before you are my kids when they are sick. No matter how much you beg for me to see you, I will shake you off if they need me. But you know how it goes, the less I see of you the more I need you. There are days that I’ll be BEGGING for you, but I won’t be able to feel you and be comforted by you until my kids need for me has subsided. If you care about me, as much as I do you, I’m sure you’ll understand.
This love is never ending. It is stronger than you can imagine. I think I may have taken you for granted for many years of my life but now, I promise you, I’ll never take you for granted again. I need you. With all of me.
Thank you Momalom for giving me the excuse to write this love letter. This is my entry into Momalom’s Love It Up event. You should enter too! Just write a love letter to anyone or anything and submit your entry on their site to win some Valentine’s Goodies. I’m hoping for a new nightie. 🙂