When you can’t write – say thank you

I’m struggling to write this weekend.  Although I’ve commented on other blogs (like this one here) that the tragedy in Haiti should not be reason to put a halt to what is going on inside our hearts and heads as writers, I’m still struggling.  It just feels “wrong” to write about anything that I’d choose to write about.  And then I wonder if I’m just worried what OTHER people will think of me if I write about such frivolous drama.  I like to think I’m doing my part in aiding the horror in Haiti by donating a bit of money and attaching a button to my blog where people can find even more ways to help.  But it’s not enough.  Nothing is enough. My heart is aching for everyone in this distraught county where the devastation is unfathomable.  I’m in awe of the number of bloggers who are pulling together to raise money.  It just confirms for me what an amazing community this truly is.

But I need to write.  I need to write something because this is where I come to relieve stress, frustration and sadness.  I watched TV 24/7 in the days following 9/11.  That was before I had kids and it was what I NEEDED to do to get through it.  I knew far too many people affected by it since I was living and working in NYC at the time and it made me feel a bond with the community by knowing every single detail.  I cannot do that with this earthquake.  My kids are around.  There are too many kids involved and affected.  Although I know no one personally affected, my heart is hurting just as badly.  I’m avoiding the images this time instead of having them engraved in my memory.  I just can’t bare the sadness.  So instead, I’m coming here to hide.

So, I’ve decided to take this opportunity to thank my friends who have made me feel all warm and fuzzy by giving me blog awards in the past couple of weeks and then bring others the same happiness by paying it forward.  Important in the scheme of things?  Absolutely not.  Something that may pass along a little cheer?  I hope so.

I actually got this award TWICE this month!  First Shell at Things I can’t Say gave it to me early in the month.  Shell is a newer friend in the blogosphere and I’ve loved having her as one of my readers and I adore her blog as well.  She often makes me laugh about the things that happen to her in her day to day life and she is also a refreshing read, because she calls it as it is, straight and simple, and I can so often relate to her posts.

More recently Liz at But Then I Had Kids honored me with the award too.  I’d say Liz was my first friend in this world.  On so many of my early posts she’d write such supportive words and in the days when I was about ready to give up… she convinced me to stay.  And I did.  I feel like I owe her for handing me this world of “happy”.  Plus, her blog is amazing.  Most posts I feel like I could have written myself because I have been there or could see myself there.  And more importantly, I think my daughter is going to marry her son.  Although it might be a scary relationship with two such hard headed, precocious personalities, they seem at these early ages, to be a perfect match.  Thank you Shell and Liz.  You made my day with these awards.

My job now in receipt of this award is to list some things that make me happy and pass it along to some of my other blog favorites.  So, over the next few days, I will be starting my posts with something that makes me happy.  It should aid in bringing some “happy” to my blog amidst the sadness elsewhere.  Those that make me happy in my everyday reading and I’d like to pass the award on to are:

–  Corinne at Trains Tutus and Twizzlers:  Her photos alone absolutely make me smile.  And when she adds her words to the photos… magic.

– Jen and Sarah at Momalom: I nod my head furiously as I read their posts.  It’s as if they are pulling the words right out of my head.

– NDM at Not Drowning, Mothering: She’s HYSTERICAL. I’ve passed her awards before and I will continue to because she really is That Funny.

Corinne at Trains Tutus and Twizzlers passed me this Lemonade Stand award for being a blogger that shows great Attitude and Gratitude.  Wow.  I like to think of myself as someone with attitude, the good kind of course.  And I love that she thinks I show gratitude… because I do.  I have tremendous gratitude for all I have (even if many of my posts don’t sound that way).  Corinne is fabulous.  ALL of her posts make me smile and many make me cry.  She has touched my heart with her words.  Her kids are too precious and the love she shows through her pictures and words is tremendous and heart warming.  I am truly honored to have received this award from her.

And I pass this award along to:

Ambrosia at Here Every Moment Counts: I adore her writing.  She has made me truly THINK.  She shares her happy moments and her painful ones too and I’ve shut my computer down after reading her posts still thinking about how I relate.

Aidan at Ivy League Insecurities: There is no doubt she’s a “writer”.  Every post she writes is truly a masterpiece.  Beautiful, artful… amazing.  I look forward to reading her blog every day.

Michelle at Momma’s Pixie Dreams:  This is the newest blog I’ve started following.  And so far, I’m taken. She writes beautifully and has struck a cord with me.  Please go check her out!

I feel better now.  I’ve spent the past hour away from the news.  Away from the tweets.  Away from “reality”.  It’s what I needed.  It’s why I have this place.  I think it’s part of the reason we all have this place.  So thank you for letting me write my words in these days of sadness, because it’s what I need to do.



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15 responses to “When you can’t write – say thank you

  1. Great! Such great voices, these. Thanks for giving me a smile too.

  2. This is awesome. cheers.

  3. Thank you so so much. For reasons I might go into on my blog this week (if I am feeling brave), this really means a ton. I love your blog and your writing and your unique mixture of wisdom and wit, so receiving this (or any) award from you makes me smile big smiles.

  4. Ambrosia

    Oh, thank you Becca!!

    I have been struggling with the same issues. I wonder if I will seem superficial if I write. How can I think about anything else but Haiti?

    YET….we need to live our lives. Sounds harsh, right? I guess that I feel comfort in knowing that I am doing my best. I am praying. I have a button. I have donated. I am trying.

    As long as we keep them in our thoughts and prayers, the sadness doesn’t really disappear, right?

    Thanks for making me think yet again.

  5. Nicki

    There is hope in Haiti. People are being found alive, not many but some. I think I am with Ambrosia – we have to live our lives while praying and doing what we can to help the people of Haiti.

    The blogs you have awarded are wonderful. Some are new to me, some not. I will read them all!!

  6. Thank you so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate them.

    I have to shut the news off often because it affects me probably way more then it should. I am glad you were able to escape if only for an hour. 🙂

  7. I think it’s a large and important gesture to stop and say thank you. Every moment we pause to reflect on the people and things that make us lucky is a precious one. I think that the number of people making donations to support relief efforts in Haiti are part of this phenomenon: pausing to count their own blessings and hoping against hope to help those who have lost so much restore some of their own.

    Thanks for the tips on some new blogs to check out. I always enjoy your recommendations!

  8. Aw, thanks for your kind words.

    I struggled with what to write this week, too. Everything seems so trivial in comparison. But, I chose to see blogging as my escape and not change my posts. It might seem like I don’t care, but I do. I’m just at a loss as to what to say.

  9. It’s always a good idea to pass along a little cheer, I say! Great post today.

    I got positive news about some things happening in Haiti yesterday, so I posted a South Florida Update on Haiti on my blog. Just a hint of the rainbow amidst the dark clouds.

    I say, write what’s on your heart.

  10. crnnoel

    This was such a well written post. Thank you for putting it all out there.
    And thank you 🙂

  11. Thanks so much for the award and for the welcome distraction from the terrible news in Haiti.

  12. Liz

    Aw, Becca. Thank you! True story: this weekend, we had a babysitting night, and, since we never have time to just sit and chat, Hubby and i usually get into the topic of my writing when we do. So..I was actually talking about YOU! And I found myself saying that I was “proud of Becca at Drama for Mama.” Isn’t that so silly? But I am! I mentioned how much I thought you’d totally blossomed and how awesome your blog is, and how I really did see a great spark in you, from day one, when you came to me wondering if you should give it up. I am SO glad you didn’t, b/c I think you are great, and I feel like I have made a real friend out there, in you!

    • Wow, I feel honored that you spent some of your precious alone time talking about ME! I’m also impressed that your husband spends more than a minute discussing your blog friends. Mine doesn’t quite get it so I don’t spend much time on it. Thank YOU for your amazingly sweet words and likewise feeling like you’re a real friend! Hopefully we’ll find the chance to actually meet this summer!

  13. Thanks you Miss Becca. Like Liz, I also feel like your blog and your writing has grown and grown and flourished and sparked SO MUCH over the past few months. It’s a crazy, crazy world–the blogosphere–and often difficult to know how to balance it with our real lives and how to keep it going. But you are doing it marvelously well. And I miss you when I’ve been away a day or two too long.

    Thank you for the award. Thank you thank you thank you. I’m so glad to know that it is YOU out there nodding along. Thank you.

  14. This kind of graceful gift heals this crazy world. That is what I believe anyway. I feel better after reading your post – I got a break from all the sadness too. Thank You.

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