Today I let Hannah play with my iPhone from 6:15-6:45 in the morning before I was able to pry my eyes open from my slumber.
Today I was exasperated with this five year old daughter who was grasping onto me in tears crying, “I’m just going to MISS you mommy” when I tried to leave her at school.
Today I watched Luke’s little hands grab onto two hanging rings and smiled as I saw him lift his legs off the ground for the first time supported only by his arms.
Today I giggled with pride as Luke stood in the center of the circle of moms and kids in music class and danced to his own beat, looking back at me every few minutes for reassurance.
Today I took Luke out of his crib right after putting him in at naptime because he was crying. And with his arms stretched above his head he said, “MOMMY” totally, perfectly, absolutely correctly For the First Time.
Today I did five loads of laundry. None of them were my clothes.
Today I pushed Luke’s highchair into the family room in front of the TV at lunch time so I could fold the laundry without him knocking over all of my piles. I smiled as I folded all of the little pajamas, tiny jeans and pint-sized dresses.
Today I filled three massive garbage bags with old linens, pillows, comforters, and towels and THREW them into the GARBAGE leaving three empty shelves in the closet.
Today I made Hannah’s five year old doctor’s appointment and told her about it, thinking preparing her for it was the best way to go. I now think she’ll cry every day until the appointment.
Today I bought a pair of Merrell shearling clogs. I swore I never would. I told everyone that would never be me. I am now in heaven and don’t think I’ll EVER take them off.
Today I was impressed by Luke’s creativity as he put two Matchbox cars in a shoe at the shoe store and “drove” the shoe around the floor as I tried on my new ugly ass shoes.
Today I read a blog post that made me cry. I reread another one that made me cry again (even though I had already cried after reading it last night). Thank god I then read one that I laughed so hard at, I cried.
Today I took Luke to the drive through at Dunkin Donuts as an ACTIVITY. He laughed as I talked to the intercom. He waved and said hi to the window guy as he got his free munchkin. What more could he ask for?
Today I realized I was a mom when I heard Luke crying in the backseat and I realized he had dropped his lollipop on the floor and I picked it up, looked around fruitlessly for a napkin, and ended up sucking the fuzzies off for him. ( I know, beyond yuck).
Today I decided to pick Hannah up early from school to spend some nice time with her (remembering her sad eyes and quivering lips when I dropped her off). She cried when she saw me because she wasn’t ready to leave. (Mind you, I got to Hannah’s classroom just as she was putting two Swedish Fish into a cup of blue jello liquid. They had learned about Long Island Sound and were making a jello representation of fish in the sound. I wouldn’t have wanted to leave either.)
Today I cooked one dinner. One dinner for four people. And everyone ate it. Even if we ate at 4 separate times.
Today I was the one giving Tim the much needed hug after an excruciatingly long day.
Today was just like any other day. Yet totally different at the same time. Because although each day feels the same – same worries, same annoyances, same joys, same routine -each day brings newness. New memories. New realizations. New challenges. New phases.
And of course, new shoes (as ugly as they might be).