Superficial Saturday 4

Welcome to the Superficial Saturday Holiday Gift Guide: First Edition! (Just for Laughs if you aren’t with me in my humor today…)
On this cold, blustery Saturday, only a couple of weeks before the gift giving season kicks into high gear, I’ve compiled for you (exclusively on Drama For Mama) my recommended gifts for your loved ones. You can thank me later.
How perfect is this? A flashlight for your head! Never again will you actually have to HOLD your flashlight with your hands! Now you can make sandwiches in the middle of the night while camping! You can knit in a dark room! You can get dressed in a pitch dark closet! And the best part, after you are finished doing whatever you need to do in the dark, you can go straight to the mines. You don’t have to run home first, just head right on over. Perfect for your bright-light-averse/miner loved one.
You might not be able to tell from the picture, but this fishing pole… comes apart into many small pieces and can FIT IN YOUR POCKET! That’s right, tell your friend that they will never stumble upon a lake, brook, stream, river, pond or puddle and not be prepared to catch a fish. On those days when they just can’t seem to find the time to get to the grocery store, they will be set for dinner if you happen to pass by a fish catching opportunity. Also for the men in your life who like to appear to have something long and hard in their pocket…
Not sure how to tell someone that their breath is less than desirable? Think that giving them a tooth brush or mouth wash is too harsh of a clue? This halitosis detector might be just the subtle hint you’re looking for. This bad breath detector measures FOUR levels of unfresh breath. I assume the levels are 1) You can kiss me but only the cheek. 2) You can be near me but not talking to me. 3) You can be in the same room as me but not within 3 feet of me 4) You should avoid all contact with any living organism if you want them to stay living. A gift like this will surely improve your holiday get-togethers. And you’ll save money on breath mints.

If you know someone who lives in a household with not QUITE enough noise, this should help them along. This fun sounds of the wild animal caller makes 10 realistic animal noises, including a lion, a baboon, and an elephant. I don’t know about you but I crave hearing the sounds of a baboon in my living room. It would be a good complement to the ubiquitous sounds of Yo Gabba Gabba, the kiddie drumset, and choo choo trains. Your friends with kids will surely thank you for this home enlivening gift for their kids.

I’ve been feeling lately that I don’t think kids today have enough ways to get out their anger. This dodgeball game teaches kids (or adults) to hurl objects at one another with the sole purpose of hitting them in the chest/abdominal area. The one you see above is for beginners. It has a velcro target and hard tennis-like balls. As you get better you can advance to dart throwing, knife tossing and maybe, if they practice enough, sharp arrow slinging.

I hope this is enough to get you started on your gift purchasing. I’ll have more for the next few Superficial Saturdays before Christmas. And after Chanukah is over and I’ve received all of MY gifts, I’ll be sure to let you know the bombs that I received so you can steer clear and not disappoint any of your recipients.



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5 responses to “Superficial Saturday 4

  1. Kristen

    Hilarious, Becca! If only I had seen that pen/fishing pole sooner…I just finished my shopping and that would have been perfect for my father-in-law. (I only wish I were kidding.)

  2. Nicki

    Becca – the headlamp! Absolutely perfect!!! Running days are so much shorter now that I am sure this is the perfect gift for my friend who is training for the Boston Marathon. Ideal! LOL!!!! I am not sure a 50 year old will like something from Backyard Safari but if I could lay my hands on one, I would box it up anyway!

  3. TKW

    Oh my god! A halitosis detector! Brilliant! This cracked me up!

  4. Ambrosia

    I think I need the wild animal caller. Heaven knows I do not have enough noise in my life (newborn anyone?).

  5. Aidan Donnelley Rowley

    I love this. Isn't it amazing how many utterly random things there are out there for us to waste our money on? I love that you put aside a day to showcase your silly side. Hilarious post!

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