I thought now that my youngest is 19 months old I’d have my brain back. Apparently it’s not the case. I’m smart. I know I am. Somewhere inside my head I AM still smart. I think my brain has just taken a temporary leave of absence (lucky brain).
I realized that I’m still not quite back to my normal brilliant self today when I was driving and all of a sudden the music came on and scared the bejeezus out of me. Literally the 7 or so seconds it took for my Sirius radio to find the satellite signal, was enough for me to completely forget I had turned it on, and enough time for me to be so deep in thought (or half asleep) that I jumped out of my skin when The Frey came blaring through the speakers.
It also happens far too often that I make a phone call, by the time they answer I’ve completely forgotten who I’ve called. And now with caller ID everyone answers my call with, “Hi Becca!” and I have to act just as excited to hear their voice when I have no idea who in fact it is that I’ve called. And then once I HAVE figured it out, I don’t know why I’ve called in the first place. Because, if you know me, I don’t normally just call to “chat”. That’s what email is for. Or my blog. Even worse, sometimes I make my calls with my bluetooth in my car, and again the time it takes for it to connect is enough for me to have forgotten I’ve even made a call, and then the “ringing” I hear through my car speakers again, scares the crap out of me. Maybe I’m on edge?
In the past week I’ve done a few other things that have made me a little nervous about my brain’s health. I couldn’t find the phone for hours yesterday and finally found it sitting on the top shelf of my refrigerator. I’ve been blaming this on Luke but honestly, I’m pretty sure it was me. I think I finished a call as I was wrangling Luke out of the refrigerator and I needed both hands to pry his little hands off of the fridge shelf so I put the phone down In The Fridge. Makes sense right?
I put honey in my coffee a few days ago thinking I had made tea. It was not delicious.
I put body cream in my hair thinking it was my hair relaxer. Nine shampoos later I THINK the cream was finally out. I don’t even have time for ONE shampoo, let alone an entire nap time worth of shampoos.
I ALMOST put Cortizone cream on my toothbrush. I’m writing a letter to Cortizone telling them that I feel their packaging is dangerously close to that of toothpaste. And no, I do not think it was bad judgement to keep my tube of Cortizone cream right next to my tube of toothpaste. Never know when I’ll have an itch close to toothbrushing time.
Hannah asked me for a Tootsie Pop for dessert tonight so I walked to the kitchen, took one out of the cabinet and handed it to Luke. Ten minutes later Hannah asked me where her lollipop was and after telling her to stop joking around, that “NO, You canNOT have another lollipop, NICE try!”, I looked over at Luke who was sitting on his penguin beanbag chair grasping this stick with a ball on top in his fist, just staring at it. He hadn’t even thought of putting it in his mouth or licking it. He was just enjoying its company.
I was writing an email to a friend and wrote, “I have never SAWN anything like it before in my life.” I knew it looked wrong. But I couldn’t quite figure out what was off. Shit, I can’t believe I’m admitting this… have I lost all credibility?
I think I’ll stop here.
I’ve been thinking I want to go back to work in some capacity. Start consulting. Find some freelance work. Put this brain to work. Put my hard earned MBA to some use. I’m now thinking it MIGHT not be such a good idea if I want to be at all successful. I mean would YOU hire me?
I will go back to how I once was, won’t I? I’m not stuck like this forever, am I? And I’m not alone… Right?