I had thought this stage would be over by now. The “Why?” stage that is. I thought the “Why?” stage was when the child was learning to converse and asking “why?” was a way to keep the conversation going. Apparently the “Why?” question morphs from innocent questioning to full on interrogation at 4 and a half years old. I actually believe that Hannah asks “why?” most of the time now just to drive me nuts, knowing full well that there simply is not an answer. And if I don’t have an answer handy, she usually demands, “well, why do you THINK?” forcing me to come up with some half assed answer to appease her. In my more patient moments I’m able to calmly think of answers to all of her questions and am able to satisfy her curiosity. On my less patient days I either speak the words I swore I’d never speak, “because that’s just the way it is” or “because I said so” or I say, “Hannah, could you PLEASE stop asking Why?!!!” (gasp!) and this is when I see her little smirk and know she was egging me on all along.
I realized today as I was taking a walk with Luke that I also have dozens of “why?’s” floating around in my head but noone who I have ever had a chance to ask because I’d most likely be given a blank stare if I asked and unlike Hannah, I don’t have someone I can beat down to the ground with my impossible-to-answer why questions. But now I have all of YOU! The perfect audience to possibly put an end to my questions! So shout out the answers if you have any but realize that if I’m not satisfied, I will come back at you with more and more “why?’s”… because I can.
– Why do infant/toddler pants have pockets on them? What do the makers of the little pants think these little peeps carrying around in their pockets? If they actually were able to place and remove their binky in their pocket this would make sense but I’ve yet to see that. A tissue would also be a good thing for the baby to keep in their pocket but again, babies hate wiping their nose and lack the coordination to push it into the pocket or take it out, so this is not the answer. I’ve decided to start keeping MY hairties and a few quarters in Luke’s pockets. This way I won’t misplace the hairties, I can be sure to get a gumball, and I’ll never be stuck at the parking meter.
– Why do people still put “Baby on Board” in their car window? Do people really think I’ll be more careful if I see that they are carrying a baby? Because without that sign, I’d be more tempted to ram them from the rear if they don’t get going at a red light quick enough? Or maybe it’s their excuse for driving so damn slow? Maybe they think I’ll be less likely to honk at them or give them the finger for driving the actual speed limit if I know they have precious cargo in their car. You can be reasonably certain I have kids in my car when you see me swerving back and forth trying to grab Hannah’s elephant or Luke’s blanket that’s dropped on the floor or attempting to remove the too-big-piece of pretzel from Luke’s mouth that he has bitten off or trying to grab the sippy cup full of milk that is being poured over Luke’s head. And someone decided cell phones should be banned… ha! It’s the KIDS that should be outlawed!
– Why is it that every time I go for a workout walk with Luke I have the “Bingo” song stuck in my head? I don’t listen to music in case he decides to break out in conversation with me but somehow this song ALWAYS is in my head. And it drives me nuts. “There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name O. “Clap” i.n.g.o, “Clap” i.n.g.o, “Clap” i.n.g.o. and Bingo was his name O.” There, is it in your head now too?
– Why do they sell Extra Strength Tylenol alongside Regular Strength Tylenol? Are there some people who really say to themselves, “you know, my headache isn’t THAT bad. Not bad enough at least to make me want to get rid of it quickly or completely. I’ll SAVE Extra Strength for when I really need it.”? I’d love to see the sales stats for these two variants of Tylenol just to see if Regular Strength’s SOLE purpose is to give Extra Strength a reason for being. And now there’s “Rapid Release” tylenol which is making plain old Extra Strength null because it must not work as quickly. Now I have to decide do I want my headache completely gone at some point or kind of gone quickly? Like I don’t have enough choices to make in my day without this “headache”.
– Why do some people NOT have Easy Pass? Do they not know it’s FREE? Do they LIKE waiting in long lines of traffic? Do they enjoy having a conversation with the toll booth operator? Does it ruin the aesthetic of the interior of their windshield? Do they not realize that it’s because of them that there is so much traffic on bridges and tunnels because of their inability to Get Out of the Way? Back in the day, when we didn’t have a choice, I remember loving the game of the passenger side person trying to toss the dime out their window, over the car and into the basket (was it just me?) but now, there are no baskets, just toll collectors. There’s no fun people. Get with the program and Get Easy Pass! Sheesh.
– Why hasn’t someone come up with a way to send a Tivo’d show from one Tivo to another? So if I miss an episode of the Bachelor (or some other less important show) someone could send it to me? Don’t use, “no one else watches the Bachelor” as an excuse either because you KNOW you watch the Bachelor and if you don’t, it’s because you have your priorities mixed up.
– Why can’t I leave my kids home alone for just a little, tiny bit of time? Just the amount of time it would take to run to Dunkin Donuts for coffee and a munchkin. Or a really quick run? I’m sure they’d be just fine. OK, don’t answer that.
– Why are there two different versions of time? Like, why is 30 minutes so LONG when I’m on the elliptical machine but so SHORT when I’m letting Hannah watch ONE show so I can get something done? And similarly, why are mice cute in the store but not in my house?
I could go on. And I will in my head but I’ll save you from my torturous questioning. Anyone have any answers for me? And don’t say, “because that’s just the way it is.” – it doesn’t fly with me.