I can finally stop itching. No more ointments, no more long fingernails, no more rash… it’s finally over. Yes, I have now been married for EIGHT years so I’ve made it through the SEVEN year ITCH. Hard to believe it was eight years ago that I walked down the aisle (forgetting to put my veil over my face in all the excitement) and stood before Tim promising to love and cherish him for my whole life. I joke that my wedding ceremony was “funny” more than special because the rabbi forgot Tim was Jewish when he started his little sermon and thanked him for allowing a Jewish ceremony. Tim and I let him continue on this strange rant until finally I shouted, “You DO know he IS Jewish, right?”. His response: “You’re KIDDING! He IS?”. We are so lucky to have this captured on video otherwise I wouldn’t believe it myself. Anyway, it sure broke any tension that may have been in the room as the entire “audience” broke down in laughter. I swear I saw the rabbi downing at least 7 shots of tequila after that ordeal.
My life with Tim has continued to be one of laughter. I actually couldn’t dream of having a partner in this life who didn’t bring (or at least TRY to bring) a smile to my face every (or most) days. We’ve had our share of tough times in our years together but without his uncanny ability to make me smile, I’d never have made it through.
So, in honor of him, I have decided to dedicate my list to him.
25 Random Reasons that I love Tim
1. My biggest fear is dying or getting a horrendous disease that will kill me. Oh selfish me. Tim’s biggest fear is not being able to help someone who he loves.
2. He wrote a screenplay and I’m not a total wenchy bitch in it. Actually I’m not in it at all but I’d prefer that over being a wenchy bitch.
3. He always tells me I should wait 30 minutes after I eat to swim.
4. He gives me the BEST back massages and only complains a LITTLE that I never give them back to him.
5. He watches the Bachelorette with me. He has ridiculously annoying color commentary going throughout the show but still, he does sit and watch it with me.
6. Whenever he sees a hot chick in the street he says, “See her? you look like her. A brunette her but still her.”
7. He won’t join Facebook but he still lets me read him my status updates and he thinks they’re funny.
8. He likes that I burp. Loud.
9. The first time I got the stomach virus when we were dating he brought me ginger ale, Pepto and the New York Times.
10. He brings me Tylenol when I have a headache. He first yells at me for being stubborn for not having already taken it but then he brings it to me.
11. When I tell him to get me a “kiddie cup” size of ice cream, he always brings me a small cup because who the hell is actually satisified with a kiddie cup?
12. He threw out my scale when he thought I was overly concerned with my weight. He actually disguised it in a pizza box and carried it right out of the house.
13. He knows before I do if a friend is a true friend or not and tells me.
14. He brags about my golfing ability even though I haven’t played golf in 5 years and the one amazing shot I had was purely beginners luck (and every time he tells the story my shot improves by 10 yards).
15. He holds my hand (or I should say, lets me SQUEEZE the life out of his hand) when we take off and land in a plane.
16. He slows down his running to the pace of a snail so we can run together and reminds me to “just breathe” when I’m huffing and puffing on the verge of passing out. (OK, that can get a little annoying but I know his intentions are good!)
17. He remembers what football game was on, who won, what restaurant we ate at and what movie theater we went to for EVERY movie we’ve seen together (and it’s A LOT). Not sure why I love him for this but it’s so amazing I am at least IMPRESSED.
18. He can freak any old friend or old acquaintance out by remembering a random fact about them (like what they were wearing the last time he saw them and what their conversation was about).
19. He always notices when a girlfriend of mine has gotten a haircut or her hair colored and tells them.
20. He reminds me on most days of the week that “everyone at work thinks I’m quite the catch – handome and funny!” and he doesn’t get upset when I just roll my eyes at him.
21. He wears a Breathe Right to sleep so that he won’t snore (and then in the morning sticks them randomly on different parts of my body).
22. He is completely and totally UNABLE to keep a secret from me. Let’s just say I’m pretty sure I’ll be receiving some flowers tomorrow…
23. He pretty much has the WORST singing voice out there, but still belts it out every chance he gets.
24. When HE’S really hot and sweaty and thinks I also MUST be, he puts an ice cold bottle of Drink on the back of my neck. I HATE when he does that, but I know he thinks he’s being helpful.
25. He could win an Oscar with his prank caller acting abilities. I mean he has TALENT! He’s gotten every member of my family and many of my friends… but not me… yet.
26. He laughs at all my “jokes” when I’m in the company of his friends. Even though most of what I say that is funny is at his expense.
I know – that’s 26… the randomness could go on and on. Are you all jealous? All this in addition to some pretty great bear hugs whenever I need them, a fantastic listening ear (even if he’s not looking at me), some pretty groovy dance moves, a lovely tush (still good even 20 years after he won “best ass” in his high school superlatives), and the fact that he’s still with me even though I’m so messy, only shower twice a week, and have the ugliest feet this side of the Mississippi. So in case you can’t tell – I. Feel. Lucky.
Happy Anniversary Bubby.