I’ve decided there are two letters in the alphabet that kids detest and getting them to say them is as difficult as applying sunscreen to a child’s eyelids. These letters are “O” and “K”. Why oh why is it so difficult to get a little bit of agreement or even acknowledgement of my request going on in my house using these two letters? No matter the situation, “OK” is never the response. Never, ever, ever… I’m convinced there is some “little kid night school” that happens while I’m sleeping that teaches kids how to torture their parents. It teaches 4 year olds how to twist words around and ask so many questions that the parents don’t even remember what the request was in the first place! The following non-ok conversations were just from TODAY.
Me: “Hannah, I’m taking Luke upstairs to give him a bath.”
H: “Why? Is he dirty? Did he get something sticky in his hair? Will I be having a bath too? What am I supposed to do while you’re bathing him?”
Me: “Hannah please walk quietly by Luke’s room since he’s sleeping – NO RUNNING!”
H: no response
Me (after Hannah rushes loudly by his room): “Hannah WHY did you just run by his room when I asked you not to?”
H: “I didn’t run, I galloped.”
Me: “It’s time for bed Hannah.”
Hannah: “Can you explain to me on the clock where the big hand is and where the little hand is and why where the hands are means it’s my bedtime?” And then, “Has (my cousin) Julia/Eli/Eliza/Parker/Sadie gone to bed? When will (my friend) Carmie/Sadie/Emma/Charlie/Eric go to bed? And then, “How late do I have to sleep in the morning so that I can stay up later?”
Me: “Hannah, can you please not drag Luke by his arm? He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying that very much.”
H: “I am playing lifeguard.”
Me (after Hannah switches to bopping him on the head with stuffed frog): “Hannah, honestly, please stop smacking him in the head with the frog.”
H: “I’m playing trampoline and Luke is the trampoline – the frog is jumping.”
Me (after Hannah starts squeezing the life out of him): “Hannah when he looks like he’s turning blue from you strangling him, it means you should stop.”
H: “I’m just hugging him, how will he know I love him if I don’t hug him?”
Me: “Hannah, eat your lasagna”.
H: “I don’t like lasagna”.
Me: “It’s what you requested to eat for dinner.”
H: “No, (my stuffed animal) ELLIE requested it, but since she can’t speak HUMAN, I had to say it for her so you just THOUGHT I requested it.”
Me: “Well then tell Ellie to eat the lasagna.”
H: with an eye roll and teenage “look”…”Mommy, ellie is just a stuffed animal, she can’t REALLY eat.”
So there are just a few out takes from my world without the letters O and K. I guess Hannah uses the letter “Y” (why, why, why, why??) so often she just doesn’t have time for other two…