I thought briefly about writing another “woe is me” post about my precious daughter who makes me wonder how I’m going to make it another day with her hurl-me-out-the-window tantrums (yes, we had another of those days yesterday), but then I stopped in my tracks. I’ve been hearing about and reading some blogs lately about moms who probably would give their left arm for a child who at their worst throws a 30 minute tantrum. I’ve been reading about moms who are grieving over children that they sadly lost or moms who are fighting alongside their terminally ill babies. Babies who are the same age as mine. Babies who so unfairly aren’t given the chance that they should be given to live a full life. And it makes me realize that I really have no right to complain about what’s “normal”. She might throw abnormally, outrageously LONG tantrums over things as silly as the blanket on the couch not being placed correctly on top of her or her Cinderella “wedgie-free” undies giving her a wedgie, but it’s what every mom of a 4.5 year old goes through (right? right?) so I really shouldn’t complain. So I won’t. At least not today. Because today, my heart is aching for MckMama who you can read about here and Heather Sphor who you can read about here.
Today I will write another silly, not-so-dramatic, not-so-important list:
The things I will do differently this time around
1. I will not be introducing Luke to The Wiggles. He does not need to EVER get to know these strange Australian, colorful men and their Big Red Car. We will all be better off without them. Same goes for Max and Ruby. Luke does not need to learn from two rabbits with MIA parents.
2. I will not lay in bed with Luke his first night in his big boy bed until he falls asleep. There is no turning back after that. I still have to lay in bed with Hannah until her little eyes flutter shut. Sometimes 10 minutes sometimes 60… Luke will get the 1 book, 1 song, blow-me-a-kiss, night night!
3. I will not start the tradition of making up a new story for Luke every single night. I will READ him a book. Hannah requires a new made up from scratch story each and every night. Often she’ll tell me the name of the lead character, their age, and what they are wearing and when I ask if SHE’D like to tell the story she declines but still wants it by her guidelines. It’s torturous some nights to come up with what 7 year old Harry wearing a purple and orange striped shirt will do that is entertaining and exciting enough for her.
4. I will not let Luke have his “blankie” outside of his bed. Except sometimes in the car. Oh, and except if he’s a little cranky. Oh, right, and when he’s in his stroller… ok, maybe this one is going to be hard. But I’m going to try!
5. If he doesn’t like the dinner I’ve served, he will not get dinner. Harsh? I’m tired of being a short-order cook. And I’m a good cook dammit! He can love, or learn to love, what is served to him. Hannah has WAY too much say in what gets served to her for each meal.
6. I will not tell Luke that babies come from Storks. It was such an easy answer when Hannah was 2 and asked for the first time! But when I overheard her telling other kids that the stork delivers a teeny tiny baby and uses its beak to place it inside the mommy’s belly through the belly button, I realized I had to change my story on her. So I told her that the mommy just all of a sudden starts growing a baby inside of her belly when she’s ready and I had to explain why I “lied” to her. And then I had to deal with the wrath of Hannah telling me that “lying is really a terrible thing to do”. Plus she really liked the stork story and was sad to hear it was not true. I could have told her that a doctor places makes the baby in a dish and then places it inside of the mommy since it’s the truth in my case but I thought that might sound strange to her too. SO, maybe I’ll just say, “I don’t know” when Luke asks me and leave it as a mystery to us all.
7. I will not listen to Sesame Street songs in the car. Luke pretty much likes to jam to anything so I’ll stick to what I like and if I hear some sort of revolt from the backseat… I’ll reconsider my options. I just recall getting far too many Ernie and Bert songs stuck in my head (and I actually recall ENJOYING them at the time!) the first time around and would prefer that not happening again.
I guess there are a few things I’d say I did well with Hannah and won’t change this time around but I have to say, it’s a miracle first born kids turn out as well as they usually do with all of the “mistakes” we make. My third (if I ever decided to cook another up in a dish – which I won’t) would probably be PERFECT! Although I’d probably never notice because I’d be too busy cleaning up the mistakes from my first two!