My dog ate three crayons yesterday. It has made for rainbow colored poop today which Hannah thinks is just beautiful but I am quite disturbed by. I’m telling you, that dog will eat ANYTHING. Anything includes tinfoil, the innards of a stuffed animal, lipstick, rubber soles of shoes, chicken bones and plastic spoons. She will NOT however eat grapes. Not sure what THAT is about but she’ll carry it off, and then just rest her chin on it, as if it’s her most prized possession.
Yes, rainbow poop, which blended in quite nicely when it was on our foyer rug. Apparently I was too busy getting the kids dressed and fed to hear her incessant barking asking to be let out. And sadly, I was not the first one to notice the poop on the rug, Luke was. And by the time I got to him he was already holding it, no, SQUEEZING it in his tight fists. Yuck is right.
This brings me to my list of the day:
Things That Totally Skeeve Me Out
– My child playing with dog poop. It might be anticlimactic to start with this one because honestly, it was THE most repulsive thing that I have ever experienced. I don’t even think it would have made my list if it hadn’t happened because WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT it was even possible. I hope I didn’t damage his skin too badly using the SOS pad to clean him. I will have a hard time getting the “P.U.” look off my face today.
– A gloppy kids nose. Mind you, this is just if it’s ANOTHER kid’s nose – not MY kids nose. If it’s my kids nose I really have no problem with picking it or wiping it myself. But when it’s another kid, and the mom doesn’t seem to care and it’s sticky and dripping… totally repulsive and the mom loses big points with me.
– Any bug that comes with friends. What does this mean you ask? It means that if I see ONE bug I’m usually ok. (Except large spiders… they are horrendous alone.) But if there is more than one, I barely can keep it together. I get the willies. And I can’t get the image of THOUSANDS of them out of my head. I fear that if I see two bugs that if I move anything aside in the room that they were hanging out in, that thousands, if not millions will squirm toward me. My hairs on my arms are standing on end just thinking about this. Have you ever seen those food moths? They are tiny little moths that lay eggs in floury food and then multiply, become moths and fly out at you from your cupboards. It happened to me once and I will NEVER recover from it.
– Milk that becomes cottage cheese. It happens pretty quick in the summer – especially with whole milk. It’s usually when the kids are drinking milk from a sippy cup in the car and then we go out for the day, sometimes forget to bring sippy cup into the house and the next day –
TA DA – cottage cheese! I guess it skeeves me out so much because I imagine Hannah not realizing it’s old and trying to take a sip of it. Gag. Doesn’t smell so good either. I don’t want you to think this happens OFTEN… it doesn’t, but it does happen so it made my list.
– Dirt under an adult’s finger nails. It’s just wrong. Take a shower, wash your hands, do SOMETHING. Unless it’s been three minutes since you came in from the garden – there is no excuse.
– Cobwebs. Something about casually walking along and then having sticky, invisible string all over your face. It takes forever to feel like I’ve completely gotten it off of me and I wonder whether there’s a spider caught in my hair somewhere. Sadly, I’ve passed this fear along to Hannah who now screams bloody murder when she even SEES a spider web or a spider knowing it came from a web.
– Ear wax. This never used to bother me until I married Tim who is OBSESSED with clean ears (he keeps Q-tips in business). I see him inspecting the kids ears for wax and picking out anything he might find. It’s the one thing that Tim makes me feel like I’m a bad mom for… not keeping the kids ears clean. And now, if I see another kid or parent with wax in their ears (not that I’m looking at my contemporaries ears or anything) it upsets me and I feel the urge to hand them a cotton swab or want to flick it out myself. Hygiene people, hygiene.
Have I managed to churn any of your stomachs? Sorry… just felt the need to share.