Reading one of my favorite blogs (Not Drowning, Mothering) yesterday reminded me how much I absolute detest vomiting. And it’s not just ME vomiting (although there is absolutely nothing worse in my mind) it’s anyone or anything vomiting. I truly am paranoid about it and feel there should be a phobia dedicated to it. I’ll call it Barphobia (like Barf-obia). All it takes is to HEAR that someone who I make have been around, spoken to, or read about got sick and I all of a sudden am convinced I will in turn start vomiting. I get the chills, abdominal pains, dizzy, etc. This actually happened yesterday in reading the latest post in Not Drowning. Maybe it was the descriptive words she chose in describing her husband and child getting sick that made me nauseous but none the less, I shut off my computer and went to get some ginger ale. The cure all in my book.
I picked up Hannah on Friday from camp and I saw her from about 100 yards back (before she could see me). She was holding her counselors hand and I immediately knew something had happened. I figured she had some horrendous “boo-boo” which was usually in the form of a miniscule scrape covered by an enormous band aid. But when I drove up and saw that little sad face, I figured it was something worse… but didn’t figure it would be THE worst.
“Hannah is sick” the counselor told me. “She threw up twice”.
My stomach churned once and “oh dear god” was shooting threw my head.
The counselor went on, “she didn’t eat anything bad, was kept well hydrated all day, wasn’t in the sun too much and one of her friends went home with a stomach ache too.”
All hope for another excuse for vomiting went out the window… she had the stomach bug.
I’m not sure what my face exactly looked like but when the counselor looked at Hannah and said, “Your mommy is happy to see you and is glad you’re now feeling better Hannah”, I knew I must not have looked too thrilled or warm or pleasant.
“Oh sweetie, yes, I’m so happy to see you and am glad you’re feeling better” I said while also thinking, “but don’t come too close and I’m sorry I can’t kiss you for a few days”.
It’s not good to have this sort of phobia as a mom of two kids. Barfing is definitely a part of reality in mommy-hood and I have, and will continue to, sit by my kids rubbing their backs and holding their hair back as they throw up into the toilet. I will hold them and rock them as the nausea washes over them and hold cool compresses on their foreheads. I will lay with them on the bathroom floor wrapped in a blanket until they feel better. I will never let them be aware of this fear of mine but I will continue to loathe it and fear it and will continue to pray each winter that they evade this devilish sickness until they no longer live in my house. And I’m sorry Tim, but when you’re sick… you’re on your own.